If we have each other// Sillie•

XL

Millie opened her eyes, finding her girlfriend staring at her. Sadie didn't look away though, so the brunette kissed her, smiling into the kiss. Millie slowly got on top of her girlfriend, continuing to kiss her. Sadie pulled away, shaking her head.

-Enough for today babe., whispered the redhead.

-Okay, okay., replied Millie getting off her girlfriend.

-Wanna just lay around all day? I think we deserve a day off, don't you?, suggested Sadie with a raspy voice.

-Yes. A day off sounds amazing., chuckled Millie putting her arm around her girlfriend and pulling her closer.

Millie had put Sadie's t-shirt on in case anyone would come upstairs while Sadie put her bra back on and still having her pants.

<while Sillie was on the rooftop, Lilia and Jillian had another conversation>

Jillian was eating some cereals without milk, while Lilia was sitting in front of her, eating an apple. The blonde girl could feel her girlfriend staring.

-What is it?, asked Lilia.

-I'm sorry for slapping you. Again., apologized Jillian.

-I told you, it's okay. I shouldn't have tickled you after you told me about what happened. It was dumb of me. Please don't feel bad. It's your reflex. I need to get used to not touching you without a warning or without you seeing it coming., said the younger girl.

-Actually...I was thinking...What if we like grab a scarf or something a-and blindfold me, while you touch my skin gently? Before you say no, it would maybe help for me to get used to it again and not thinking that you mean any harm. Just don't say no, think about it first., suggested the curly head.

-I-...Jill...I don't want to trigger anything. I don't want to hurt you even if it's emotionally., replied Lilia.

-But you won't. It's just that, I know in my heart that you wouldn't harm me, but my body still thinks that I'm there...with those boys... I want it to stop reacting on that and start feeling comfortable again. And plus, I wouldn't be tied up so I could still stop you, even though I know that you would stop if I told you to. But you know, I don't want to be tied up cause that would be weird and maybe a bit stressing and like I'm usually top so I don't like not being in charge cause I'm more domi-, rambled Jillian.

-If I say yes, will you stop talking?, chuckled the blond girl.

-Yes., smiled older girl as she put a spoon full of cereals in her mouth.

-Okay fine. But if you feel like it's too much just tell me to stop, okay?, replied Lilia.

-Yeah. But only if I tell you to. If I start to, I don't know, shaking or crying, just keep going. I'll tell you when to stop if it's too much. Just don't stop because my body reacts differently than my mind, okay?, explained Jillian.

-Babe, if you start crying I will stop. I am
not gonna continue if you don't feel well., frowned the blonde girl.

-Lilia, please. Only stop when I tell you, like verbally tell you to stop. I just miss your random hugs and random touches and just...I'm touch starved . Please?, asked the older girl again.

Lilia sighed and got up from her chair.

-We'll do this in our room, okay?, said the girl as she started to walk away.

-Myes., replied Jillian taking one last spoon of cereals in her mouth and following her.

Lilia looked through their clothes finding a bandana. They could use it to blindfold Jillian. She was not totally sure about her girlfriend's idea, but she wanted to try. She missed being sneaky and giving her random kisses or hugs and make her blush every time she would tickle her. Jillian sat down on the bed, her legs crossed.

-Should I put it around your head or do you want to do it yourself?, asked Lilia showing her the bandana.

-Let me do it., replied the older girl grabbing the bandana.

She put it around her head and tied a knot on the back, not seeing anything. She took a deep breath and nodded.

-Are you sure this is a good idea?, asked Lilia concerned.

-Yes. Just do it. I want to be like I used to be again., replied Jillian.

Lilia sighed and sat behind her. She didn't know how to do it, so she just put her hand on Jillian's side, caressing it gently over her thick hoodie. The older girl's body tensed up, but she didn't say anything so Lilia continued. She put her other hand on her shoulder, but this time Jillian's reflex was to quickly put her hand on Lilia's and grabbing it. Lilia didn't move, letting her girlfriend take it easy. The curly head slowly took her hand off Lilia's, so the blonde girl proceeded to caress her shoulder slowly, up to the back of her neck. Lilia took her both hands back, and put one on Jillian's lower back, making the girl startle a little. But not one word. Her second hand joined the other hand and they travelled around her lower back, each going to one of her sides. Lilia wanted to try something. She took her right hand off, and poked Jillian's side like she used to, to tickle her. Jillian yelped and her body started shaking a bit, but again, she didn't say anything. Lilia gave her a few seconds for girlfriend to calm down.

-C-Continue., said Jillian but her voice was shaking.

-Jill..., sighed Lilia.

-I'm...okay. Just, continue., replied the older girl taking deep breaths.

The blonde girl gave in and continued, poking her again. This time Jillian only startled but didn't let any sound out.

-W-Wait., spoke the curly head.

-What's wrong? Did I hurt you? Are you okay?, asked Lilia quickly.

-I'm okay, don't worry. I just...I'm going to take my hoodie off. Because when they were tasing me with their taser, they had opened my flannel. So they tased my skin. Directly., explained Jillian.

-No. Now that's too much. You're not going to take your hoodie off., argued Lilia.

-Lilia, I miss you so much, I miss your touches and kisses and hugs and just everything. I need this. Please. I-...I want to be me again., begged the older girl.

-But babe...Okay, fine. So only the upper body?, sighed the blonde girl.

-Well, you can also try my thighs I guess., replied Jillian as she took her hoodie off left with her bra.

-Okay..., said Lilia.

The younger girl needed a minute to take in all the taser marks that those assholes had left on her girlfriend. She slowly caressed some marks, her fingers traveling on them. She got up and sat down in front of Jillian. There were even more marks. 4 on her chest, 7 on her stomach and her sides. Lilia sighed and gently laid her hand on Jillian's collarbone, caressing down to her chest, but making sure not to touch her bra. She softly put her other hand to her belly and traveled her hand to her side. Jillian's breath hitched and Lilia caught a tear dropping from the bandana. That was enough. Lilia looked at her girlfriend, leaned down and kissed her lips softly. Jillian didn't expect it, but she eventually kissed back. Lilia was relieved that she didn't get slapped yet again and moved her hand up to the bandana removing it slowly as she was also pulling away, revealing Jillian's red eyes. The curly head didn't waste a second and hugged her girlfriend. She needed comfort from the one she loves. She hugged her as if her life was depending on it. The blonde girl slowly wrapped her arms around her girlfriend.

-I got you. You did good, okay? You did very good. It's going to be okay., whispered Lilia in a soothing voice.

Jillian nodded but not pulling away. Lilia slowly leaned back, pulling her girlfriend with her until she was laying on her bed, Jillian in her arms. For the first time in countless days, the older girl managed to get some sleep and find some peace as she listened to her girlfriend's heartbeat.

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a/n: hello beautiful people, i know that i haven't uploaded in more than two week but i've been very busy and needed to set some priorities. here's a cute and very necessary chapter. little things matter. try to remember that. start slow. take it easy. no one can tell you what to do. okay bye now or imma keep rambling
OH AND STREAM DYNAMITE BY BYS