Sm - "Sanu? Puttar aaja khana lga diya hai. Subah se kamre mein band hai"
"Aayi mumma" I muster wiping away my tear stricken face. Today was the completion of 5 years since it all happened. 5 years of mere success that never excites me. 5 years since the last time I laughed properly. Since the last time I'd even been myself. I push myself up pulling down the plain black dress I'd worn. I wash off my face putting in eye drops to calm the blood gushing into my eyes thanks to all the crying I'd just done. I walked back out looking into my mirror and all the Polaroid pictures stuck around it. He was in every one of them. Just like the hope behind every breakdown.
I move down the lavish stairs into the big dining room gleaming with smiling faces. My dad has just returned from his business trip. The whole house seemed empty without his constant jokes and stubbornness. My mom seemed to be dancing around in happiness. I walk up behind him tying my arms around his neck.
Sb - "Lo aagyi aapki laadli, ab toh khane do humein"
"Oye khoteya, woh laadli hai toh tu bhi kam nhi tabse idhar udhar gifts lekar ghum raha hai apne aur ab laadli woh?" My Dadi spoke, loud enough for her jolly voice to ring around the room. My brother let out a laugh giving me a glare. I moved my attention back to my father who was simply staring at me as if he was reading my face. "Kya hua papa?" I asked moving to sit beside him.
Sd - "Roh rhi thi firse?"
S - "Haye rabba roye mere dushman main kyun rou? Aur app mere liye koi gift nhi lye?"
Sd - "Aise kabhi ho skta hai? Woh dekh udhar jo jo mangawaya tha sab hai aur yeh bhi"
I look at him in anticipation as he opened up the black velvet box revealing a small fragile necklace, with my name imprinted in gold. I chimed giving him another bear hug before taking it. My mom chuckled seeing the excitement. I'd always loved the one she hung around her neck. It was so pretty, and now I had my own. I smiled at my father clipping it in to my neck after thanking him a hundred times. I raced back up to my room right after finishing dinner and opened up the jewelry drawer to reveal a similar diamond necklace with "SidNaaz" printed in the locket. It was a small heart locket on the outside capturing our pictures inside. I'd worn it with a passion all through our 3 year relationship. I still remembered the words he said while giving me it, claiming me as his. I opened it up looking at the miniature selfies. Why did memories last longer than the actual people?!
Flashback -
Si - "Shehnaaz? Ruk 2 minute upar aa baat krni hai"
I stared at him bemused, he never called me just Shehnaaz. Not in a public setting like this. Not thinking much of it I followed him upstairs into his room, the noise of the party silencing by each step.
S - "Kya hua Bebu ?"
He didn't respond continuing to pace around the room with a confused expression playing across his eyes. "I wanna break up"
I looked back at his face mouth agape in shock. He repeated his words, making my world come clashing into my feet. We'd been together all day... he was fine the whole time. Elated to say the most. I fought back the tears threatening to leave my eyes. "Yeh kya mazaak hai? Aise prank nhi chalne wale" I respond laughing in order to keep from breaking down.
Si - "I'm serious, mujhe nhi rehna tere saath. I took a wrong decision going through with the proposal. Nhi krna chahiye tha mujhe. I'm sorry sch mein Pr main nhi reh skta aise. Ghutan hoti hai tere se-"
S - "Wrong decision? Our relationships is a wrong decision?! 3 Saal se ghutan nhi huyi? "
Si - "Shenaaz abhi drama mat kro please tujhe bhi pta hai ki humare beech kuch nhi hai, we haven't exceeded any limits and I -"
S - "You're bored. Hai na? Yeh bhi bol hi do... kuch nhi tha humare beech yeh 3 saal... I let you meet my parents, maa mujhe ghar ka hissa maanti hai and tum mujhe yeh keh rahe ho ki humare beech kuch nhi hai? Sexual pleasures DONT define a relationship Sidharth. "
Si - "I never said anything about being bored. Mujhe bas tere saath nhi rehna, ismein itna sab krne ki koi zaroorat nhi hai. I just think we're better as friends. I can't love you like that. We can just forget that we were ever in a relationship pehle jaise rehte hai na? "
S - "What if I never forget you? What I'd now after 3 years of being with you I can't love anyone else? What I'd i can't fall for anyone else because they aren't you?"
Si - "Thats your problem.. main nhi reh skta tere saath. Samajh na? Humare beech itni toh understanding hai. Aur we can stay as friends parents ko ya kisi aur ko btana bhi zaroori nhi hai "
S - "My problem?! Toh theek hai.. rishte ki bheek main bhi nhi maangungi, lekin aaj se yeh bhi saath mein bhul jaana ki teri life mein kbhi koi Shehnaaz thi. Main tumhari tarah nhi hu, rishte din ke kapro ki trah badal ne nhi aate mujhe."
I put the necklace back into the drawer closing it with a thud. Maybe I should move on.. but how does one move on without a heart to give. I fell against my bed letting the sheets engulf the tears I needed to let out. I was in no way ready to see him again. The whole though of the party clouded my mind but how could I say no to Maahi? It was her engagement and anyways I didn't have to stay long. He probably wouldn't even come. Just like all of the parties over the years. He'd arrive after I was gone. Seemingly a schedule we'd both set up, I'd go early and leave in an hour and he'd arrive the minute I was out. I took a deep breath sitting up against my bed feeling the new necklace that hung around my neck. My name. The last thing I had to lose. My family was perfect other than the fact that I wasn't too close to them thanks to having had stayed in a dorm all through college and school before. My only family had consisted of Maahi, Jai,Khushal and Sidharth. Now I was left with 1/3 while he had the other 2. I'd talked to either of them in 5yrs. Maahi has stuck around. Keeping the relationship between her and Jai a secret until only a few months ago. I moved to go change and text her a confirmation for the party the next day.
