"Hawaaon mein lipta hua main
Guzar jaaunga tumko chhu ke
Agar mann ho to rok lena
Thehar jaaunga in labon pe
Main dikhu ya na dikhu
Tum mujhko mehsoos karna
Bas itna hai tumse kehna"
"Maafi agar tujhe aise banadegi toh mujhe nhi chahiye. Isse acha toh gussa hi reh. I know I cant expect you to be all normal pr I want my best friend back at least. Mastiyan chahiye mujhe teri. " he mumbled chuckling lightly as he wiped away his tears. I sat up slightly straddling over him without actually sitting against him and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing away the small tears sitting atop his cheeks. "Im sorry. Shayad mujhe bhi thora kam react krna chahiye tha. Pr kya karun teri baat aati hai toh sab over hi ho jaata hai. Tujhe khone ka maine kabhi socha bhi nhi tha... Aise toh kabhi bhi nhi. I believed k kuch bhi ho jye pr tu mujhe kisi aur ldki k liye nhi chodega. Arti se bhi pta nhi kitni baar challenge liya tha k woh nhi kr ske gi. Pr shayad mere belief thoda zyada hi strong hogya. Mere pyaar Mein utni taakat nhi thi jitni honi chahiye. Galt socha tha ki mera pyaar itna strong hai ki agar hum tutte bhi toh tu vapas aayega. Mujhe lgga tha ki utni aadat ho gyi hogi tujhe ki tu kahe ki jo Shehnaaz hai na... woh baat kisi aur mein hai hi nhi. Khud k expectations ne thoda hurt kiya. Vaise bhi pyaar ki toh guarantee hoti hi nhi hai na? Its always a risk." I confess letting my heart own over what my mind had to say. It was better to get everything out, start afresh with a clean slate. Maybe we should've done this much earlier or maybe we were right on time. Perhaps it didn't even matter.
Si - "Tu sahi hi sochti thi. Tere waali baat kisi mein nhi thi, nahi kabhi hogi. Trust me. People cant forget about women like you. No matter how much they try. It's impossible to forget someone who is the reason behind each of your breaths. You cant forget someone whose a part of literally every memory you have... especially if the person is the reason you even got to live those. Your smile, your laugh, you antics.... sab ka sab yaad hai mujhe. Its etched in my eyes. Tere siway Sidharth kisi ka ho hi nhi skta. Not even if he wants to himself. Phone ka wallpaper toh change huya nhi mere se, zindagi kaise change krlunga? You were right every time baby. Tu chod jayegi toh shayad sch mein roh roh ke mar jaun. Bohut gandi aadat hai teri. Ajj tak bhi."
S - "Jhooth kam bol. Itni hi aadat hoti toh milne aa jata. Frustration mein, gusse mein, dukh mein.. kaise bhi. Aur kuch nhi toh taane mar ne hi aata"
Si - "Main kab taane mare be teko? Aur gusse k kaaran hi nhi aaya. Itna toh pta hai tujhe mera. "
"Jab pta hai ki aadhi problem gusse ki hai toh kyun krna nhi chhod deta? Itna kyun important hai tujhe yeh?" I mumble slightly pulling the hair at his nape.
Si - "Tu toh gussa krti hi nhi hai na? Ek baar aur aa jaati? Itna kyun serious le liya mujhe?"
S - "Acha mtlb galti teri aur baar baar dhakke khaane main aau? Ab logic kidhar phenk k aaya? Gussa krne ka haq hai mera. Abhi toh chot lggi hai nhi toh bohut maarna tha maine tujhe. Bohut zyada.... yeh sab theek hone de, fir bach lena agar bach skta hai toh."
"Maar skti hai. Pehle bhi bola hai. Mujhe burah nhi lgta. Gussa aur maar dono ka haq hai tujhe" he reverted wiping away the tears I hadn't acknowledged.
S - "I hate youu.. I hate you sm. Agar itna pyaar na hota tujhse toh pakka aur 5 saal lgaati maan ne ko. Lekin pta hai ki itna time tu manane aayega hi nhi. Kutta"
"Yeh hate nhi love hai baby..." he mumbled relaxing his good arm around my back as pressed myself into him letting myself feel our hearts beating in sync. He was definitely my constant. Some people... some things were simply etched into your life with permanent ink. They may fade with time like books but it only took a whiff of the same to renew them. They'd never disappear, you'll never let them. Love was the same it could fade but it took a trip down memory lane to put the ecstasy of the moment back at peak. It hurt too. Much like a tattoo, only this was on your heart. But in the end the pain was temporary. It was better than the hell I'd been living in. Having him in my dreams and waking up alone was a schedule I despised but had no way around. I loved him throughout... I knew it too. You only make excuses or give the stupid benefit of doubt to someone you love. He had a place in my heart no one could even pick at. It was his. Much like myself. Today again.. the hope was rejuvenated. The hope of him and me in the end. The dreams racing back down my blood stream. How was I to prevent this little spark from spreading like wildfire? I didn't know. He didn't either. Neither of us cared. The universe had simply just bonded back our souls. It seemed to know that we were wired to wreck and make the world together.
Si - "Im sorry baby. Im really very sorry. I wont ever even let the thought of this cross your mind ever again. I promise that."
"Its okay.. mtlb its not but we can't change it. I've had enough of being alone. I want my Kullu back." I mumble softly pecking both his eyes, before sliding back over sitting with my head against his shoulder. There was a slight saying about humans. Quotes hung around everywhere you could possibly imagine. It said that we ran behind happiness. Each of our life decisions implying the same. Maybe my happy was toxic in others eyes. Perhaps it was stupid too. But it didn't matter. Not one bit. It made me happy. Happier than I'd been ever before. I felt at peace. Much like how I felt in Christmas week. Just a tad but happier though. This time the gift was of love. Something I'd been deprived of for long enough.
Si - "Tujhe pta bhi nhi hai yeh sunne k liye kitni baar purane messages sunne hai."
S - "Itna bhi devdas wali baatein mat kr. Kuch nhi hua aisa"
Si - "Devdas is definitely an accurate explanation of the past few years"
"Stupid is a better explanation" I mumble trying not to laugh at the fake glare he threw over at me. "Mujhe gadhi bolta tha aur kaam ghado wale khud krta raha." I continue not giving up the stance I held. He simply chuckled shifting closer.
Si - "you're not wrong. So gussa over?"
S - "hm. Pr only for now. Tujhe manana parega theek hone k baad"
"Uski tension tu mat le. Woh main karunga" he mumbled closing his eyes, the smile stretched over his cheeks. I get up remembering the bag of pictures. Grabbing it I look back, him yawning causing me to decide going through it later. He needed to rest right now. "Acha chal ab so ja? Main kuch kaam krlu bahar, maa bhi aati hi hongi." I explain gathering the few items I needed to take outside.
Si - "Ruk. Tu raat mein bhi nhi soyi ache se, rest kr thodi der. Maa wont mind aur kaam kal hi skta hai."
"Nhi.. main theek hu. Tu soja. Teri dawayi bhi mangwani hai abhi." I say trying to fight off the urge to just go and sleep next to him. I didn't know if that'd be okay yet. Both for me and him.
"Had se bhi aaghe yeh guzar hi gaya
Khud bhi pareshan hua
Aur mujhko bhi yeh kar gaya
Dil kyun yeh mera shor kare
Dil kyun yeh mera shor kare
Idhar nahi
Udhar nahi
Teri ore chale"
Note : Hey guys, Im so sorry for the short chapters but the thing is I feel that its better to write shorter more emotional pieces in this story. Its a story of raw emotion, I wanna keep it that way. Longer chapters require more of a incline and change in emotion which isn't what im trying with this story. My other story is more lively hence the longer chapters. And about the 3 kids, Preeti di is the mother of Raunak and Neetu di the mother of Riyaz and Riyan. Theyll be constants but not always present. As said before focus will be on SidNaaz. I hope you like the chapter as well as the overall story, itll be happier from now on. 😊🤞
