"Hai pyaar toh kayi dafa kiya
Tujhse nahi kiya toh kya kiya
Tera mera yeh vaasta
Hai iss zindagi ki daastaan
Ya phir koi hamara
Pehle se hai raabta
Toh ik vaari aa
Aa bhi ja"
I gasped watching him open up one of the boxes of jewelry that I hadnt paid much attention to. It was newer than everything else. I shifted slightly rubbing off the tears running all the way down my face. This wasnt what I'd expected. I'd thought he'd ask me to be his girlfriend, pick everything up from where we left off but his mind seemed to work different. He asked me to be his wife... something I'd always pestered him to just call me once but failed everytime anyways. A commitment he admitted he was scared of. I raise my eyes looking back at his darker ones. The anticipation for my answer just as clear as the love for me. For the 100th time this whole 2 weeks his love roared louder than both my anger and insecurities combined. I moved sitting in front of him with my hand put into the one he already held out. Words seemed to be unnecessary as long as we were here. He smiled letting a few of his own tears drop, out of happiness much like my own. I lunged forward wrapping my arms tightly around his neck; his own making their way across my waist, his face dug into the crook of my neck. His arms tied around with the exact rightfulness they used to. The hold itself making me believe that he wanted me
In his life. His arms seeming strong enough to carry back each and every beautiful broken piece I'd let him discover. Our hearts beating in exact sync only making me realize further about how wrong we both were to think we'd even survive without each other.
Si - "Ek baar bol bhi de? Please baby? Just a yes, thats all I need."
"Yeh yes maine 8 saal pehle hi keh diya tha...tujhe hi itna time lgga" I mumble making him let out a soft chuckle as I sit back down in his lap properly. I wiped off the remnants of his cheek pecking both his eyes right after. "Sach mein?...shaadi? Tu sirf mere liye nhi kr raha hai na yeh?" I question voicing out the words inching up my throat. He looked up at me baffled, securing my hand in his he put it against his racing heart. "Jhooth muh se bol skta hu, gusse mein aakhon se bhi lekin tu toh isse pehchanti hai na? Tu khud bol.. aisi commitment tujhe sirf mnane k liye dunga?" He reverted as I held up a stance against blushing from how close he'd pulled me into himself .
The beats of his heart raced against my palm contradicting how they calmed the insided of me. I smiled remembering one of the quotes I'd read recently,
"When you find a heartbeat that calms the storm in you, hold it close with everything you have."
I looked up into his eyes yet again in daze of the love I found deep inside. This Sidharth was different from the one I'd had before. He was more mature, understanding and someone who knew the worth of the love he used to neglect.
S - "Ab main kuch bolun? Rehearsed ya written toh nhi hai lekin... jo bhi hai bolna hai. "
He nodded relaxing his arms around my waist a bit. I thought of a few words or how to start but my mind was as blank as a sheet of white paper. I sighed putting my heart in place, letting it dominate the conversation. It seemed to be more of a help than my brain moat of the times.
"We're both a mess Sidharth..you and I even individually were a mess. But the truth is no matter how broken or upright I am, no soul will ever captivate mine like yours does. Tu duniya hai meri... poori ki poori. Main chah ke bhi tere se door nhi ho skti agar huyi bhi toh astronaut ki trah vapas yaha hi aana hai kyuki jitna bhi chaho apni duniya se door zyada time koi nhi tikta. Yeh jo hai humare beech woh kisi ko kbhi bhi samajh nhi aayega. Yeh connection we cant explain aur mujhe krna bhi nhi hai as long as yeh aise hi rahe . Mere liye sab... jo bhi main tere saath krti thi woh kbhi dubara krna almost impossible tha because vaisa feel hi nhi raha usme. Everything was and still is better with you. Since Ive known you... I dont even want to know anyone else. Tu mera best friend, boyfriend and even human diary..Sab tu tha aur tere baad koi aisa mila hi nhi jo woh sab bnn ne k liye tyaar ho And I know ki maine pichle kuch week mein, shaadi aur shoot combined,
10 saal ka ek saath hi bdlA liya hoga ignorance ka lekin kya krti main chahti thi ki is baar tu efforts kre. Har baar main nhi karungi na? Mujhe chahiye tha
Ki tu bhi aisa kre, manaye meko kyunki tujhe pta hai ki kaise maanungi.Lekin ajj yeh sab dekh ke aur especially jo ueh tune abhi kiya I have to say... I love you, after all this time I still love you and will continue to love you even tomorrow. I might never stop falling in love with you and trust me that'll never matter. I never ever want to stop making memories with you Sidharth. Never again. "
His hands fell back around me just as tight as before. I knew why. He'd been yearning to here those three words for as long as I could remember. I smiled softly pecking his forehead as I pushed him away to complete what I was saying.
Si -"You don't even-"
I hush him putting my hand across his lips.
"Ek last baat dhyaan se sunle.. is baar tune kisi ladki ko dekha bhi toh muh pakka todungi, Tu mera hai aur mera hi hai, phad k rakh dungi sbko" I say smiling as the last few words left my mouth. He chuckled too, remembering the scene in school. Of course I'd been the outgoing one and said the same in the cafeteria, between enough people to feel awkward later.
Si - "Tera tha, hu aur humesha rahunga... yeh tension ab nikal de dimaag se. Tujhe bhi mhi jaane dunga aur main bhi nhi jaunga."
"I love you.." I mumbled pecking the corner of his lips. His smile widened further, something I'd thought wasnt possible just a few minutes back. He cupped my face in his one hand guiding it closer to his own while his eyes stuck to mine. His other hand lay against my side, his fingers tucked under the fraily cloth moving against my bare skin with expertise. I seemed to melt under both his gaze and hold, flow each and every way he wanted me to. "I love you too" he breathed, the verge of his lips brushing against my own making my lips lay apart out of anticipation. He leaned in covering the remaining distance between us, his lips pressed softly against my own, the feathery feeling causing a havoc inside me. It was the first time he'd kissed me the same way he would back then, rightfully taking complete control. The passion dripping from his slight groans as I moved to sit astride him, lips still locked. I'd never believed people when they said that there were sparks when you were with someone who was meant for you but at this exact moment... I felt like I was on fire with the amount of times I'd felt a burning spark as his hands inched upward, lips still working against my own.
"Tum toh darasal saanson ka saaz ho
Dil mein mere chupa jo wohi raaz, raaz ho
Kal bhi mera tum hi ho mera aaj ho
Kal bhi mera tum hi ho mera aaj ho
Baarish ka paani ho tum
Kaagaz ki kashti hoon main"
