Kh - "Bhai..."
Si - "Yaad hu? Mujhe lga shayad"
J - "Ab tu humse muh todvayga. Abhi already Maahi pe gussa hu"
Si - "Kyun be? Ajj tu gussa kaise woh toh uska kaam hai na?"
"Ajj toh main bhi gussa hu usse. Mtlb Sanu ne kbhi humein na call krne ko kaha hi nhi tha, woh toh sirf Maahi ka plan tha humein aur tumhein usse door rakhne k liye. Aur ek yeh giraffe, Kab se bin bulaye mehmaan ki trah khada hai udhar. Saale ko pta hai ki woh tujhe-" Khushal exclaimed biting his tongue at his last words.
Si - "Mujhe?"
Jai let out a sigh pointing towards Maahi who was making her way towards us. I pass her a smile getting a same emotionless one in return. It made so much more sense why she seemed so distant ever since all of that happened. I congratulate her moving further to ignore conversation. It wasn't as simple anymore.
Kh - "Chal na, Sanu k paas jaateein hai? Kar legi baat woh"
Si - "Nhi karegi, tu jaa"
"Abey yaar chal chup chap, bhabi ko khud ki bhi bhabi bnn ne se pehle mna le" he exclaimed pulling me over to where she now stood working away in her phone.
S - "Khushal tune raat mein phone kiya tha? Sorry ye woh Maahi aur Karan ke saath yeh sab discuss ke rhi thi toh pta hi nhi chala."
She completely ignored my presence. It broke my heart yet again. 5 years ago... we'd be hand in hand, roaming the entirety of the hall or sneaking away, anything but ignorance. I just wanted her to say my name once. Just once in front of me.
Kh - "Haan wohi baat krne aaya yaha, yr dekh tum dono aise ek dusre ko dekh k Muh latka k ghumo ge to hum mein se koi enjoy nhi kr payega, at least baat toh kro? 5 saal ho gye yr. Cordial hi reh lo yeh hafta?"
S - "Woh main aaj hi chali jaungi, chinta mat kro."
Si - "No, I'll leave. Maahi needs you. Jai k liye yeh hai. Vaise bhi tum sab aapas mein theek ho toh.."
S - "Sidhar.... Aap mat kro yeh sab. Already decided hai."
I stared back at her, looking her in the eyes for the first time all night. They looked exhausted, trapped. And the reason... me. I gave her a soft nod, moving out of the way despite Khushal attempting to stop me. I couldn't look at her like that. She was my light, and now it looked like she'd ran out of all of her own. Maybe Karan was the better choice. He was giving her everything. A stable, named relationship. A stable family, a stable husband. Everything. I walked around the large pole walking until I was hid behind the wall. Maa was going to kill me once she saw her. I could still hear them talking just a few feet away. Her voice not as cold anymore.
Kh - "Aakh toh saaf krle? Bidaai nhi hai Maahi ki, sirf engagement hai. Aur tune jhooth bolna kab seekha huh? Jisne bhi sikhaya usse aakhon se jhooth bolna bhi sikhane bolo"
S - "Apne Bhai se puch lo training denge?"
Kh - "Yaar tum dono aise emotions daba ke kaise rahoge? Clear krlo Na?"
"Zindagi se waada yun bhi nibhana parhta hai, khulke rona chaho magar muskurana parhta hai... tum nhi samjhoge" she quoted leaving the next second to attend a call. The girl who once believed in nothing but positivity seemed to be gone. My Shehnaaz wouldnt even know what half of that meant. She made her happiness, everywhere she went. Forgive and forget, a summary of what she judged people based on. She forgave mistakes, forgot people who simply didn't mean anything and sometimes forgave and forgot people who weren't worth her anymore. Now I was seeing someone else. This wasn't my Shehnaaz.
Shehnaaz -
I needed a walk outside. My mind was clouding and that was and never will be a good decision. I raced to the rooftop simply standing against the rails looking over into the distance. Bright lights from buildings shown everywhere. I heard footstool but didn't turn around. I knew it was Karan. I'd seen him follow me. He walked back over swinging his hands around my waist standing behind me. I immediately jerked them off. No man had the right to touch me like that.
K - "I-I'm sorry.. woh I thought... never mind I'm sorry babe"
S - "Karan I am not your "babe"... you know that well enough"
I could smell the strong stench of alcohol even from standing out of arms reach. I hated it to the core.
K - "Why not? Humari shaadi ho rahi hai 3 mahine mein. I have all the rights to call you that. Woh Khushal, Jai sab bhi bulate hai lekin you didn't have a problem aidan jisse bulana chahiye agar woh keh de toh problem hai? Shehnaaz you have to let go... agar yeh shaadi krni hai toh I want my wife. Best friends humesha rahenge lekin mujhe meri biwi bhi chahiye, I want my own family. If you can't give me that then please at least mujhe bta do? I'll take care of everything Pr shaadi k baad bolegi bhi toh kuch bhi hoga"
S - "Karan please... just leave me alone"
K - "Woh kaam uska hai jiske liye tum abhi yaha roh rhi ho."
"Karan?! Enough. Please just go. And whatever I have to do with him is my problem. Intervene krne ka sochna bhi mat" I yell running off the the higher lookout. I huffed sitting myself atop the concrete legs swung over the edge under the rails. Karan wasn't wrong to want any of that. If I was to be his wife then he was suppose to be the only one allowed to do all that. Then why'd it feel so wrong. I thought back to being caged against the wall by Sidharth just an hour earlier. I was angry but him holding me didn't feel wrong. Not even a tad bit. Why was I not able to hear anything against him when I myself said so much? I put my hand against my heart closing my eyes with my face tilted up towards the sky. That was my only way to find an answer. I sat a while longer placing my arms against the cold metal and relaxing my head against it. I knew I'd break down, but I hadn't expected the coldness. I was being so off with him.
M - "Or maybe everyone else. 5 saal se cold kab nhi thi tu?"
"Mujhe akela rehna hai." I mumble still keeping my gaze ahead of me. She sighed walking off after telling me to come downstairs in 15 if I wanted to go back home. My parents were never used to staying nights anywhere. And as for me... I had my own place along with theirs. I'd go to my own tonight. My outfits were set along wth Maahis here anyway. I took in the scent of fresh air mixed with a lot of strong coffee. Looking up I found Khushal standing behind me, a wide mouth smile plastered across his face. He sat down without a word handing me one of the coffee cups while he sipped in the other.
S - "Kisne bnayi?"
"Jaise tujhe pta nhi, 2 ghante ho gye tujhe idhar. 10 minute mein sab nikl rahe hai. Maahi ko bhi usne bheja. Baat krle na yr usse? Ek baar?" Khushal asked for almost the hundredth time tonight. I sighed getting back to sipping the perfect mix of coffee. I'd missed this. We used to stay over at mine almost every day after university. I'd make dinner and he'd make us Chai it coffee right after. Strong enough to melt away stress and sweet enough to satisfy my taste buds. He'd always try a sip before handing it to me, making sure the Temperature and everything else was just the way I wanted.
