Kaun Hain Tu Mera? - SidNaaz

Fare Thee Well.

'In the end only three things mattered, how much you loved, how gently you lived and how gracefully you let go.'

This is the end, the most beautiful kind. My heart is full, and the book is whole. You know the feeling when you come back home after a hot day and you find a nice, cool bottle of water and it's the perfect temperature, and you just drink. And you gulp and gulp, till your stomach is absolutely cool and full, that's how I feel. I wrote my heart out, I poured my entire being into this book, and now that I have no more to give, the fulfillment of doing it well and doing it with grace refills me. 'KHTM' is in every sense a piece of my heart, just the way Sidharth Shukla and Shehnaaz Kaur Gill are.

'Kaun Hain Tu Mera?' was born completely and fully out of #SidNaaz and their relationship in the house. Everytime I write, I tell myself to not deviate from who they are as real people. I have no idea why I find myself so attached to them both, they've become a fragment of my soul. And it sounds so stupid, giving that much of importance to someone who don't even know of your existence. But love never makes sense, if it does, then it's not love. I was brushing my teeth when I thought of it, so it was almost trivial, the idea, but it developed so beautifully as I continued to write.  I never intended or wanted it to become this big, this huge. And I have you guys to thank for that. But most of all, I have Sid and Naaz to thank for showing me a part of myself that I didn't know existed. People and their struggles inspire, but for the first time, someone's way of love inspired me. To love so zealously, so passionately, so fervently. And I firmly believe that I don't have it in me, so I find solace in them. 

'Shehnaz had created a safe space for him, a little bubble, a world of their own where she showed him that he could come bare and unabashed and she would cover him with her love. And he showed her that her vulnerabilities and her unleashed soul would be confined in him, that he'd watch her fly free and still fasten and bind her to himself, so that he could fly with her, and cover her from the fiery arrows of hatred, of trauma, of loneliness, of agony and anguish and wounding in her soul. Their relationship was more of a strong, desperate, maddening and protected need that came out of requisite love that they had been deprived of.

-KHTM

The ups and the downs, the highs and the lows, we've been through it all, we subjugated the book to a theory that could've been a reality, but I still stress upon it, it's a fiction, what we saw happen in those 5 months, that was a magical reality. It was maddeningly surreal and beautiful, and we should consider ourselves so privileged that we got to see such raw and outstanding emotions of two people fell to the prey of love and embraced it with such beauty. Sid and his Naaz, Naaz and her Sid and just... Sid & Naaz, in my heart, they're history, they're a story that deserve to be down in books, that should have become an exemplary embodiment of love. And we #SidNaazLovers have made it happen.

Now that I've ended the book and everything is done with, Let me to tell you a secret. On July 15th, the country head of Wattpad contacted me, made an offer to move KHTM up to Wattpad studios, where it would be read through, it would be examined and then given to partners and from there, if accepted, it would either get published, made into an audio book, monetized or turned into a show or webseries. I cried out of happiness that day. And then I was so confused and scared because the misconceptions of fanfictions had wrecked a havoc on twitter. So I confided in my family like friends, and then conducted a poll, secretly. I got some 95% votes telling me to do it. So I filled the form, wrote down all the details and did all that, till the last question, choose 'yes' or 'no', oh how do I tell you guys how dramatic it was. I cried like a baby and chose 'no' and submitted the form. Because SidNaaz was beyond that, and it meant more than that. 

SidNaaz gave me an insight into life that I didn't even know I needed, they showed me a way of love and a way of life I didn't even know existed. Sidharth Shukla and Shehnaz Kaur Gill  showed me love. And that, I couldn't even dream of encashing upon. I wrote the book out of my love for them, my absolute pure love. KHTM probably wouldn't have even gotten through,it would have just been a stupid form, but the book was a token of love for SidNaaz. And I just couldn't. SidNaaz will always have a special place in my heart.

Their journey from being childlike friends, to fighting the war of separation like strong standing emblems of endurance in love, those 5 months did something in not only theirs, but all of our lives. It was like a surreal movie, the conflict between emotions and game, the confessions, the way they held each other, the way they fought, the way they made up, the way they just were. They were.. But it also was the strongest reality of life, the deplorable vulnerabilities, the rawness of their love, the unfiltered outburst of feelings, it was a story we saw come alive. And it was a ride, and maybe we're not on it anymore, but they've just begun. And I pray, so earnestly, that they'll be happy, find such togetherness and blessings in each other. And just that they'll be happy. Thank you, Sidharth and Shehnaz. 

Here's Kaun Hain Tu Mera, a token of my heart to you. With the utmost love and respect. 

Thank you, 

Your author
whatevenya
@yallsuckas - you know me. I'll always be there for this family I've found, KHTM ended, not our union of hearts. I love you guys more than I can ever put into words. And I love Sidharth and Shehnaz more than my heart's ability to love. With the utmost gratitude and love, I fare thee well✨