Urban Divinity

50

A soft groan left my lips as my eyes angrily opened to sunlight peaking through the curtains. I flip over and bury my face in Dion's chest, refusing to wake up and face the world. I'd much prefer to stay in his warm arms and inhale his rich sent then even think about getting out this bed and having to put on a bra and pants.

Yet despite my tiredness, I couldn't force myself back to sleep. My mind had already begun to be active and I found myself getting antsy in his arms. I peek up at him and smile at his sleeping face, "So cute.." I whisper softly and press a kiss to his chin.

"I should make him some breakfast.. Pancakes with sausage?.. nah..bacon." I think to myself and slowly start to untangle myself from him. Even in his sleep he was clingy as his arms moved like vines to wrap around me again and force me back in his chest. I pout and move his arms again but he pulls me back but this time with his leg over mines.

"Diooooon!" I whine and listen to him grumble beside me. "I have to pee." And just like magic he moved his legs and arms off me, "Quick.. and close the curtain." He mumbled and shoved his face in the pillows. I press a kiss to his neck before sliding out the bed and putting on my slippers. I quickly closed the curtains before making my way to the kitchen, humming softly to myself.

It had been a while since we had a calm morning together and I wanted to make it special, "And convince him to never leave my side again." I would admit any day that I grew way more attached to him than anyone I've ever known. He felt like another half of me that was always missing and not having him by my side low-key took a toll on my mental.

My hands moved quickly as I stirred the pancake mix. I open up in the cabinet and grab some chocolate chips and sigh softly, "Is it okay to be attached to him like this?" The thought made me frown.

Dion pushed the idea of me being independent yet I still found myself crazily addicted to him. Is it really growth if I break an attachment of one person to form another one with the next? How am I supposed to learn to be independent if I don't let myself grow alone?

My stomach turned as I poured the pancakes onto the pan, letting them sizzle and slowly begin to bubble. I grab my spatula and wait for the rings.

I met Dion at my lowest and though he built me up, I always stood in his shadow and tried to follow his every step and word to be better without ever pausing to think, "How can I help myself by myself?"

Alicia pushed me to be independent under her eye and barely offered help while Dion instructed me through every step and kept me under his caring wing. Both of them had good intentions but gave too much of what the other lacked.

I sigh softy and put the golden pancakes on a big plate before starting to place the bacon on the searing pan. I watch them begin to cook before setting the coffee maker and starting it, the kitchen starting to smell like a big Sunday breakfast. My stomach rumbles and my mouth watered at the pancakes but I restrained myself as I looked back to the bacon.

I lean against the counter and play with the spatula in my hand, "Then there's Gianna.. My first big girl lesson." My chest pained at the thought of the girl. I had let myself grow a strong connection with someone with ill intentions. I threw any common sense out the window when I met her because I wanted to form a friendship so bad but only for it to blow up in my face.

"Why do I attract such toxic people?.. What did I do in my life to make people want to hurt and use me so bad?.." I couldn't even think of an answer as I thought about my ex. He was so sweet and loving towards me in the beginning. Waking me up with kisses and sending flowers to the hospital front desk to surprise me every Sunday. I fell so deeply in love with him that when he hit me, it didn't click in my mind that I needed to escape or he's an abuser. The only thing I thought was I did something to hurt a loving man.