Sweet Like Candy

I've got backup...

TRIGGER WARNING: some cursing and a scene that deals with self-harm. I've inserted *** where it starts and *** where it ends for those who just want to skip that part. I don't want anyone to be triggered by this as I understand that this is a tough topic.

JEFF'S POV: 

     "I've got backup," Randy seethed. I turned to look at Keith and Troy standing by him. They were sniggering. I turned to look back at Randy. There was a devil's glint in his eyes. This was not good. Oh no. This could ruin my life. My anger was boiling to the surface and I gave Randy a huge punch in the face. The contact between my fist and Randy's stupid face caused him to hit the back of his head against the wall behind him, knocking him out almost instantly. I turned my attention back to Randy's goons behind him. They look terrified, moving their hands up in surrender. Just then the bell rang and I bolted out of the bathroom, deciding to head to my homeroom on time for once. I didn't bother to check on Jackie... 

   The first period I could sense Jack staring at me. I wasn't in the mood though. He tried in vain to pass me notes, but I ignored all of his attempts till my friend decided to stop. 

     To say I was sulking was an understatement. I was petrified. Knowing Randy, he probably had that video sent to his stupid friends. No wonder why he was not as angry about me smashing his phone. I mean, he was mad, but you've probably never seen him **really** pissed before. After all, his parents have all the money they could ever need; that phone would be easily replaceable. 

    You see, dear readers, my father works for Randy's father. That being said, my parents have Randy, among the rest of his family on Facebook. If that video goes out to Facebook, my parents will probably see it. The problem is that my parents are homophobic and don't know I'm gay. Now you probably understand why I acted the way I did. The only one who knows my secret, besides Jackie (probably) now, is Liu. He's always supported me. I mean we're indifferent to our parents because they're pieces of shits who only care about their reputation. And me being gay will ruin their whole reputation.... 

     The other classes that I shared with Jack I tried hard to ignore him. I mean, it wasn't all that hard, considering all these thoughts pestering the back of my mind. I couldn't even concentrate in class. 

     When lunch came around, I decided I didn't give a fuck about being here right now. I was last to leave class, and when all the students fled to the cafeteria and the teachers were too preoccupied, I bunked school. 

    I knew my parents would not be home by now. But that's not where I headed. I took the long route towards the park. During this time of day it should be relatively empty. It took me around twenty minutes to arrive. Just as I expected, it was basically empty. The only company I had were two ducks; I think they were a couple. I smiled at them, taking a seat at one of the benches in front of a man-made pond where they were dousing themselves in the murky water. But even cute animals couldn't stop the panic attack overtaking me. I tried to distract my thoughts, sniffing the sweet autumn air. Orange leaves flew off a maple tree in the chilly breeze. I picked one of the leaves that fell on top of my raven hair. As I was inspecting the leaf, I noticed how shaky my hands were. 

(*** the next paragraph could be triggering... just for a heads up)

    Out of nowhere I began to cry. The tears couldn't stop, no matter how hard I tried to retain them. They simply oozed out of me. Maybe this was a good thing... to just let it out of my system. Sometimes you gotta let yourself feel the sadness before you could feel happy again. I don't know if I could ever let myself ever feel happiness, I thought darkly. I pushed up the sleeve of my hoodie, observing the now very faint lines on my wrist, but was once so red and prominent. I promised Liu I would never do it again when he caught me one time, about a year ago. Of course I've never kept that promise; I knew he'd never ask to check my thighs for more scars.