Sweet Like Candy

I don't want him to know the truth.

JEFF'S POV:

     The next day at school, I was too afraid to tell Jack the horrible news. Heck, I was even too afraid to see him. As my brother and I approached the entrance to the school, I began to quiver in fear. The tremors grew worse with every step I took into the school... and by far the worst as I saw Jack waiting for me by my locker. 

    The moment we met eyes, Jack ran to give me a huge hug. I reciprocated lightly, too scared now to grow more and more in love with him. These news will tear him apart, and I couldn't do that to my Jackie. I was unexpectedly given a kiss on the cheek by my boyfriend. I loved saying that word to myself: boyfriend.  Unfortunately, it won't last long. Despite how hard I tried to resist, my face was blushing. 

    "Jack," I whispered. "...not here..." I did not want anyone to know about us. Or Randy filming more of our affections for my parents to see. It'd give them a better reason to throw me in "conversion therapy". Like I'd ever like that to happen... 

     Jack looked around, turing his face to look both ways down the hallway. "What?" he asked meekly. "No one is around us?" I looked around as well to notice the hallway was nearly deserted. 

     "I guess you're right," I muttered, a tad embarrassed. 

     "So is it alright if I did this?" Without any hesitation, Jack pushed me against my locker as he kissed me full on the lips. I will admit I did it enjoy it. But panic quickly set in inside me, and after a few seconds, I regretfully tore myself from the kiss. 

    "You know I love you so much," I whispered into his ears, "But I did not give consent." (AUTHOR'S NOTE: CONSENT= IMPORTANT!! NO CONSENT MEANS "NOOOO!!") 

    "Sorry," Jack squeaked.

     I sighed dramatically before I brought Jack in for another kiss. When we broke apart, Jack added sassily, "I didn't give consent, you hypocrite." Damn, this boy really makes me happy. We both ended in a fit of giggles. Unfortunately, as the masses of students finally began to enter the school, we pretended to be heterosexuals...smh. 

    During our first period, Jack and I endlessly sent written notes to each other as the teacher lectured on whatever he was talking about. He didn't he even sound interested in what he had to say as he droned on tiredly. Just there for the money, I guess. His favorite thing though was to bark at students when they weren't doing what they were told to do. Good thing I'm sneaky...

   As we were passing notes of our love for each other... or making fun of other students or the stupid teacher... a voice at the back of my head was nagging how much of a revolting boyfriend I was to Jackie. Like, I know I will be moving soon. Like... as in the end of next week... yet I don't have the guts to tell Jack. He is going to be heartbroken when I leave unexpectedly. And it's going to be all my fault. And I'm just going to end up in a fancier neighborhood while Jack has to continue attending this shitty school, with an even shittier father. Scratch that... I'M the shittiest. 

     I looked at Jack lovingly as I watched him write a reply to my last note. He looked so happy... so innocent. And I'm gonna change it all when I leave him behind. I don't mind if he blames me for everything. Heck, even I'd blame myself. Is there any possible way for me to change this... to stop myself from moving? I was plagued with this thought endlessly... all through night and day. I cannot bear ruining Jack. I'd probably end myself, too, if that was the case. As Jack handed me back the note, I plastered back on my fake smile, gently taking the note when the teacher wasn't noticing. I didn't want Jackie to know something was bothering me.

    Because I honestly don't want him to know the truth....

*** IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE: I just thought this was important to say, considering news I hear about the LGBTQ community... don't ever let anyone tell you that who you choose to love is wrong. Whether you are gay, lesbian, bi, pan, etc. you are absolutely fine with who you are. Gender roles are fucking dumb.. do what you love and love who you love. And whatever you identify yourself as, I love all of you for who you are. I'm bi myself, and though some people may think it's wrong, I don't give a fuck. You are all doing great, you beautiful people. Love is love and that should be the end of the discussion :)