Sweet Like Candy

It's complicated.

JEFF'S POV: 

     As soon as we arrived to the party, I dashed towards the alcohol table. I didn't even want to be at this lame party. At the same time, I didn't even want to be home... especially if my parents are throwing their stupid annual Halloween party. They did, after all, make it clear as wasn't even wanted home.

    Even though I didn't want to be at Ben's party, I still wanted Liu to enjoy himself. So I grabbed my drink and ran out the house where I'm sure no one would be. I settled myself on Ben's back porch, settling myself on one of the chairs available. I closed the back door to tune out the party in the inside. I mean, I could still hear the party pretty well, but it was slightly less noisy. Like, I could actually hear some crickets chirping outside. 

    You could say I was sulking outside, a cup of straight vodka in my hands. I was sipping rum earlier in the day, now I'm sipping vodka at night. This is pretty much how my life has been: just getting drunk. While everyone is partying inside, I'm throwing myself a pity party outside, with vodka being the only one invited. 

    Eventually, as most good things goes, my vodka ended. It was about an hour or two into the party. I mean, I was kinda drunk, so don't count on me on the time. I stumbled my way back into the house. I was ready for round two. I poured myself a heavy amount of vodka into my solo cup. But then a heard a familiar voice. Jack. I cursed silently to myself. Why is Jack here?!! He doesn't even know Ben... I think?

   Quickly, yet at the same time trying to make sure I didn't spill any of my beloved vodka, I ran back outside onto the porch to enjoy my quiet time. I began sipping, or more like chugging, my drink. I came here to forget Jack. Now I was remembering Jack. Please, vodka gods up above, let me forget...

    That was when, a couple minutes later, I heard someone open the back door and quickly closed it. A lot of couples have come by here for a quick make out session. I hoped it was another couple rather than the person I assumed it was... to think about it, I only heard one person come out. Then, suddenly, a body took a seat next to me. I turned my head slightly to see it was none other than Jack himself. 

    I felt the pulse of my heart escalate. I really tried to ignore him, but my whole body was tense. He did not seem  to recognize this as he been drinking from his solo cup. So I decided, with the best ability I can, to enjoy myself and my drink in silence. Then he started speaking, 

     "I know you don't wanna be friends," Jack said, "But I just came out here to escape from the party." 

     This quickly caught my interest. "...so why did you come in the first place?" The way I sounded, even I can admit, sounded rude. But I was just curious. Why did he come? 

    "Liu invited me," Jack said straightforwardly. I nodded my head as I chugged more of my drink. Of course Liu did. I love my brother, but sometimes he can get on my nerves. I see what he's trying to do.

   "Okay." I said blankly. The two of us sat like that for quite a while. At the back of my head, I was contemplating on telling Jack the truth. That I did want to be friends. That I only did that because of what my parents said. I kept trying to hold myself back. After all, Jack did not seem to care as he sat by me, drinking from his cup and enjoying the almost silence. But then the alcohol started to kick in. I could tell Jack was feeling the same way, as he began to slightly sway from side to side. Just as I was about to say something, Jack was about to as well as he turned to face me.

   "I-" 

   "I-" 

    We both ended up in a fit of laughter. 

    "You first," Jack insisted. 

    "No you," I said, chuckling to myself. 

     Jack took this as he que to begin speaking. "...well," he started, still swaying drunkenly. "I...I just wanna say that I missed you," Jack said honestly. "I missed our time together." 

    I did not know what to say to this. I thought Jack would have hated me over the last thing I've said. Since that... day... we haven't talked. It was then did I decide to open up as well. "I missed you too," I admitted. 

    Jack abrupted turned to face me. His face was flushed from all the alcohol in his system. At least I think so. "Then why did you do it?" Jack asked.

    I was honestly confused. "Did what?" I left out a low laugh. 

   "Push me away?" Jack looked quite desperate as he said this. I shrugged, even though I knew why. The answer is easy... my parents are homophobes and I'm just too scared to put myself in a position where others can hurt me. I guess. 

    "It's complicated." I stated, not bothering to give the details. This response did not content Jack at all.

    "There is more to it." This was not a question, this was a statement. At that moment, I felt like an open book. So my best choice of action again was to shrug.

    "It's complicated," I said again. Jack seemed disappointed with my answer. 

     Then all of a sudden, I felt someone's lip press against mine.