𝐀𝐎𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒/𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐒

Hate | Eren x (Chubby) Reader

Prompt: Eren tells Y/n that he hates her

SEASON 4 SPOILERS

TRIGGER WARNINGS - ED, THREATS OF DEATH

Ps. this probably won't have a happy ending

Everything was happening too fast. From Eren showing up and him explaining the Ackerman's to insulting Armin and Mikasa, you just sat there, taking it all in.

"I've always hated you." Eren's voice drew you out from your stillness, and though his words were directed at Mikasa and not you it still stung a little.

You looked at your lover closely. He was different. Was he even the same man you fell in love with? You didn't know. He was different that's for sure.

"How dare you!" Armin yelled, starting to climb over the table and attempt to swing at Eren before Mikasa pinned him down, leaving Eren untouched.

"Mikasa?" Armin questioned below her.

Only then did you react, standing up as Mikasa let Armin go, the former shocked at her actions.

"See, everything you've ever done in life is dictated by your Ackerman blood," Eren spoke.

This time Armin swung and hit Eren square in the nose with a satisfying crack. Eren and Armin toppled over along with the table. Two guards rushed in, alarmed by the noise and commotion. Eren pushed Armin back into a cupboard making the glass and china on it shatter and break from the impact. Armin groaned a little as Eren walked toward him.

"Armin. We've never fought before have we? And do you know why that is?" Eren said sending a punch straight to Armin's face. "Because it could never be a fair fight!" Eren yelled holding Armin's head with his right hand while slamming his knee into Armin's ribs from the left.

By then you had reached Eren and pulled his arm, both to get his attention and stop his assault on Armin. He hadn't insulted you like the rest and you were hoping you could help him sort everything out. His face turned to you, instantly knowing that you were wrong.

Eren's POV

Shit. Why her? Please, I don't want to do this. I'm so sorry Y/n. I tried to leave you out of it. I was so close. But this is for your safety. This is for the best.

I took a deep inhale before looking at her. She looked just as beautiful as the day I met her. Or the day we first kissed. Or the day I asked her out. Even the first time we were intimate. God how I wish I could relive those moments. No! Focus! I internally scolded myself. She looked sad standing there and my gut wrenched knowing that I was about to make it worse.

"And you," I pointed to her, "You're the worst of all. All of the crying you do. All of the complaining and attention-seeking. I'm sick of it! God how could you ever think that I would love you... or even like you! Do you know how hard it was to tolerate you? You don't know how many times I had to convince myself not to snap your neck in the middle of the night just to have some god damn peace and quiet the next day! And don't even get me started on our relationship." I chuckled.

My heart cracked. This is too far. Every word that came out of my throat was vile and disgusting. I need her to hate me but I'm going too far. No- she has to let go. I'm doing this for her.

"Do you know how hard it was to keep up the façade and be intimate?!" I practically screamed.

Another crack- STOP! NOW! I'm just spewing nonsense. Lies. God, I loved every single moment she blessed me with. Even catching a glimpse of her was more than I deserved let alone her allowing me to touch her in sacred places. I didn't deserve any of it. Even now I'm left daydreaming and reminiscing of the last time we were together. The way we moved in sync like it was fate. The way the dawn highlighted her in the most beautiful way ever. I didn't deserve any of it. I knew it then and I know it now. I was crushing the very thing that kept me alive: Y/n's love.

"You're so fucking needy too! Eren this and Eren that! God, I can't believe someone can be as narcissistic and clingy as you are? I wonder how Mikasa and Armin are even your friends!"

Another crack split inside my heart.

"Oh and for once in your life put down the damn food Y/n! You complain about your weight and size yet eat the next hour! It doesn't make any sense! Do you know how hard it was to date a fucking whale? It was pretty damn hard! Word of advice- stop fucking eating and then complaining!"

No. No. This was all wrong. I didn't mean any of it. I love her size. The way she jumps to pull on jeans. The way she always stretches out the arm of a tee shirt to make her arms look smaller. The pudge that spills out of the top of her pants and her back that holds rolls I knead and love the softness of. Her feet that make her look adorable. Her cheeks that glow bright red when I kiss them or flirt with her. Her fingers that intertwine with mine perfectly. Her lips and nose that make her face look smaller due to their size. Her thighs that wrap around my waist when I lay with her. Oh, how I wished to feel their warmth again.

My eyes stayed locked to the ground. I had been looking at the wall behind her the whole time, refusing to watch the damage I inflicted. I breathed in and out deeply. The worst is over. I felt exhausted and sick. A sniffle sounded in the air and I looked up.

My life is over. My heart has been shattered.

What was left of my crumbling heart shattered. I was wrong. This is the worst part - the aftermath. Her eyes were red and about to release a wave of tears. Her cheeks had dusted with a scarlet and she looked tense. The thought hit me. She's crying and sucking in her stomach because of me. My words had an done immediate and irreparable damage.

No. No! NO! NO NO NO! PLEASE STOP. DON'T DO THIS! My heart screamed the words at me on loop. The words I desperately wanted to say. But deep down I knew it was over. Nothing I say now will change her. Even if I did apologize immediately, she'll never fully trust me again. She'll never see me the same way. And plus, that means all of this was for nothing. I hurt her for nothing. That's why I can't turn back.

Mikasa and Armin were now by her side, whispering to her with words of comfort. Something that should have been my job. Something I wish was my job. Her cries sounded louder suddenly and that was when I truly became aware of all my words entailed. I've broken the only thing that kept me going, I've hurt the love of my life.

I looked at the guard, "Take them away." I ordered.

"Yes sir!" They responded immediately.

a/n-
(I feel as though I have to make it clear:
Do not EVER stop eating ESPECIALLY to lose weight. This is a fan-fiction- it is NOT worth your life. And although there are warnings at the beginning I do NOT want anyone to be triggered by this and take it personally. PLEASE EAT- SIZE DOES NOT DETERMINE YOUR WORTH- I AM ALWAYS HERE AND I LOVE YOU. so if you haven't today- Go eat something and drink some water please <3)

please if you ever have any problems or want to talk about anything please reach out to me, eating and my body are something that I struggle with too. you are NOT alone.