𝐀𝐎𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒/𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐒

Suffering | Eren x (Terminally Ill) Reader

Prompt- Reader is terminally ill but Eren refuses to leave her side

TW for death

(ps later in the chapter the italics are eren's heart and the bold is his brain 'talking' to each other if that makes sense)

Life had always been so fun and bright with him, every moment containing smiles and laughs. The two of you were happy, loving each other and going on adventures together. It was pure bliss. Until it wasn't. Days spent cuddle together at home or on a date we're now spent with you stuck in a hospital bed, four boringly white walls surrounding you at all times. Eren, as expected, was completely heartbroken. His life felt like it shattered in the doctors office when he heard the diagnosis and what it entailed. Fatal Insomnia, as it was called, was a disease that killed in a few months to years. Symptoms include extreme difficulty sleeping which can lead in speech and coordination problems as well as dementia in late stages. After hearing all of this the two of you were shocked. The doctor left to give you some privacy but it didn't matter, you were both in your own world. Tears cascaded down both you and Eren's face as the to of you sobbed in each others arms.

"Y/n?" he asked, noticing your silence and deciding to check on you. You stayed silent, your face not showing any emotion.

"I don't want to lose you." You whispered as a tear fell from your eye.

"You won't- I promise! I'll be here the whole time. I'm not leaving you Y/n. We can make the most of it, I swear!" You nodded weakly, opening your arms slightly as Eren pulled you into him, the two of you crying together.

As promised the two of you did everything you could, tried new foods and took trips, visited wonders and met people along the way. Still, the excitement and fun did not change the fact that time was indeed moving forward. First it was stutters, uncontrollable stuttering effecting your sentences. Then it was stairs that were hard which soon progressed to your walking being taken away too, leaving you in a wheelchair. Still, you didn't forget Eren. He stayed by you and tended to your every need. He helped feed and bathe you and encouraged you to talk even though it was barely comprehensible. Most of the time you had to mouth the words, your vocal cords not cooperating enough for your actual voice. Still, Eren never lost the look of love in his eyes- even when you were hospital-bound and stuck in the same room. He'd beg the nurses to let him take you around the hospital on a wheelchair and they'd reluctantly agree, giving the mourning man some sympathy. You weren't dead yet but he was mourning, mourning the idea of your loss. Mourning in advance though he knew it wouldn't do any good in the long run. Even so he never left, he often stayed over night in the hospital, sleeping in an uncomfortable chair beside you without complaint. It hurt to see him like this, depressed and uncomfortable everyday just to make you happy.

"E-Eren, w-wh-why don't-t-t you ju-just leave?" you asked. His eyes softened and his hand held yours.

"Because I love you. And i'm going to be with you as much and as long as I can." he whispered, kissing your head.

Another few months had passed before the doctors pulled Eren aside.

"Mr. Jeager, we have some bad news." Erens gut immediately dropped. "It's about your girlfriend, we're aware that your her only living contact and seeing as that is the case we must inform you that she doesn't have long. I'd say a week or two at the most. I do want to inform you that I think it's best we end it now, she's in pain and keeping her longer is only adding to her suffering."

Whatever was left of Erens heart was crushed. Two weeks at most? You were suffering? What was he to do? What would you want him to do? The thought was unbelievable. He could still remember you many months ago, smiling and laughing as you visited London and Beijing, Tokyo and Paris, Rio Dé Janeiro and Hollywood. All of the memories he had of you were ones that were so bright and full of life, but now it was being cut short.

With a small nod to the doctor Eren walked into your room, trying to keep a smile on his face only to see you and fail, tears falling down his face.

"Y/n?" you turned to him, confusion on your face.

"Why are you crying?"

"I-It's nothing. I'm fine."

He laid in the bed with you for hours, stroking random things on your arms, chest, and back. He would miss the warmth of your skin, the blush on your cheeks, and the light in your eyes. A few hours later his eyes opened, the realization that he had fallen asleep coming to him.

"I'm sorry Y/n."

"Don't be. I wish I could sleep. You always look so peaceful."

Sadness overtook him. How rude was he to fall asleep in-front of someone who was dying from the lack of it? He cursed himself, getting up and telling your we was going to retrieve your breakfast before hastily leaving. He was gone a mere 10 minutes yet when he came back your eyes were closed, your lungs drawing in deep and even breaths. Eren gave a soft smile, gently walking further into the room and sitting the chair as quietly as he could as not to disturb you. He hated his helplessness, loathed it was all his being. He only wished there was a way to save you, a way to take away all of your pain and suffering. At that word his mind traveled back to the doctors words, his mind barely contemplating it before his heart shouted into the conversation. NO! I REFUSE TO BE THE CAUSE OF HER DEATH! She's dying, it's not fair to keep her here for our own selfish needs. Eren was torn. He decided not to worry about it, instead he focused on the light flicker of your eyelids and your breathing as a way to distract himself.

Eren didn't know what time it was, it was a trivial fact because he only cared about watching you. When your eyes finally did open Eren smiled at you. The smile was hard to produce though, for he knew the truth. Your deep and dark eye bags looked so impossible that they had to be makeup, your frame was tinier and you were way more sluggish. Eren could tell the doctor was right.

"Good morning beautiful, are you hungry?"

"W-who ar-re yo-you?"

The words shocked him, so sudden and so panicking.

"Y-you don't remember me?" Eren gaspedz

"S-Should-d I-I?"

Eren crumpled to the floor as his worst fear came true.

"U-Uhm i'm going to get the doctor, i'll be right back."

Later that night Erens head laid on your chest, you had been sedated earlier and now he laid with you one last time. The doctor gave him a sympathetic look as Eren weakly nodded his head. The doctor then turned, shutting of the machines and detaching them from you. Eren listened to your heard as he cried. The thumping came lighter and lighter, quieter and quieter, until finally a final thump sounded before all was silent.

"I love you."

Eren continued to cry for hours, the hospital staff leaving him to mourn as he hugged your now dead body. He knew you would never move again, never smile or laugh or kiss him again. He listened to your silent chest, his ears desperately straining to hear a sound that he knew wound no longer be there. His heart clenched at the loss of its soulmate. His heart died too that night , despite it still working. Now he was condemned to suffering.

a/n- i have something i need to tell all of you, i understand that if your from asian decent it is common for you to use surnames like chan and kun but i, not being of that decent or culture, and sort of uncomfortable with it. anime is from that type of culture and altho i do write fan fiction about its characters i am in no way trying to be them. that being said, i don't mind you calling me author or using my name as i put it on my profile for all of you to see. but please don't add things like chan and kun to it, thank you

also i will be picking the winner for the cover contest some time today

what season is your favorite?
[i really like three for some reason, it's like a comfort to watch specifically that time of the story and levi's scene is to die for]

your very precious