𝐀𝐎𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒/𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐒

Wait For You | Jean x (Dead) (Gender Neutral) Reader

Prompt- Reader has a crush on Jean but it's only after they die that he realizes that he likes them back

Everyone knows that famous saying 'you don't know what you have until you loose it' and they were right. You never learn to appreciate something until it's gone and your left wishing to go back and change what happened. If only life were that easy. Being in the survey corps practically signs your guarantee to loose friends and Jean had had his fair share over the years. He wasn't a stranger to losing friends. He knew what it was like for Hange and/or Levi to approach him solemnly and tell him that one of his companions had died. This time felt worse though.

As he watched his two superiors approach him his gut sank, he just couldn't figure out why. The two reached him and after a moment of silence spoke.

"Jean," Hange said, "We regret to inform you that Y/n L/n passed away this morning." Right, that was why his gut sank. The expedition was bound to take more of his friends. The it hit him. It took Y/n. Y/n is gone. Jean's throat constricted and he started to feel light headed.

"They were a great soldier and an even greater friend. We hope they find peace in the afterlife and remember that they are loved deeply." Levi said before nodding to Hange, the two of them walking away.

No. No no no no no. This can't be happening. It's not right. Why them? Why? Jean couldn't help but look through memories of you, his first time seeing you go memories like when you use to talk into the late hours of the night with him. He was in pain. His whole chest felt like it was on fire, warming the tears that leaked from his eyes. He couldn't believe it. He refused to believe it. He remembered when you first brought him a confession note and a flower, handing it to him and shyly confessing that you had a crush on him. He also remembered how he turned you down, saying that he didn't feel the same. Truth was that he really didn't. Then at least. Now, now he'd give anything to be able to tell you how much he loves you. Before he knew what he was doing he was in your room, the silence and emptiness only smacking the truth at him.

He crumbled to the floor in harsh sobs, trying futility to wipe the tears off his face just for them to be replaced moments more. He could smell you in the room, the bed and other things reminding him of you. He sobbed for hours and even when he got up and went back to his room he cried again. He couldn't get over it. How could he be so stupid? How could he not see how he felt the whole time? And why did he have to find out too late. He hated himself for it. For rejecting you. For not telling you before you died. For not being with you.

Days had passed and the funeral finally came around. Your friends all dressed in nice black cloths with tears adorning their cheeks, except for Levi- he stood stoically to the side but you could tell he was in pain. The ceremony started and the speeches only made Jean cry harder. He couldn't keep himself together as he was reminded of what he lost. A beautiful, loving person who was one of his best friends. And the person he loved. When the speeches were all done and everyone said their piece, they slowly filed out. Once only Connie, Armin, and Jean were left the former too approached the latter.

"You can blame yourself Jean." Armin told him, "They loved you very much. You should know that. They wouldn't want you blaming yourself."
"Yeah. They... They wouldn't want you to think this is your fault or regret anything. They would want you to move on and be happy." Connie told Jean, laying his hand on his shoulder in a comforting pat before walking away with Armin behind him.

"How can I move on?" Jean asked after a few moments. "How can I be happy without you?" He paused for a moment before reached in his pocket and pulling out a lined piece of paper. "I have this for you. I'll be damned if i don't at least tell you once so here... take it with you please. And make sure to read it. I love you Y/n. Good bye." And he took started to walk away.

Normal POV

You picked up the paper that lay in your casket, a small smile on your lips. Unfolding the paper, you began to read.

To my dear Y/n,

I wish I could tell you this in person but seeing as your gone it looks like this is my only choice. I want to say i'm sorry. I'm sorry for how I reacted and i'm sorry that i couldn't help you. I'm sorry that I couldn't  help you and i'm sorry we won't be able to be together. I want you to know that I do love you. I always have. I must've been blind and stupid to only see it now. Now that your gone. I hope this letter finds you in the afterlife so I can finally tell you how much you mean to me. Y/n L/n, you are the greatest person I have ever met and i'd be honor to give my heart to you. I am yours and I shall be ready to meet you once again when I can. Until then, don't forget about me and remember that I am yours.

Until next time my love, Jean

You folded the paper back up and felt tears roll down your face as you watched Jean walk away.
"I too my love, I shall wait for you as well."

a/n- y'all it's been a shitty day and i just watched the latest Tokyo Revengers ep (if you haven't seen it skip the rest of this oaragraph because there are spoilers) and i am so upset about Baji. Like i can't even explain how attached to him i am and i can not stop sobbing. So, i decided to do a sorry related to death and someone requested it so here it is

sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes

this was a request by notjiminsjam_

i love all of you very much