Don't Do Drugs Do Me Instead

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(Tons of thanks to Want-to-cry-and-die for the title idea!)

"Ah! Earth! Precious, precious earth!" (Y/N) cheered, plopping down on the sands. They managed to somehow float their way over to the sands of Sardinia without being spotted, but they were still quite the ways away from where they had to be, which meant committing another crime.

"You know, technically we never left earth."

"Don't get technical with me." She rubbed the nub of her missing hand, grumbling softly to herself. "Never getting on a plane again. I'm going to swim off this stupid island if I need to."

"Don't do that, we still have shit to do." Abbacchio ground his fist into her hair in a firm noogie, the girl screeching softly in return as her hair was fucked up. Not that it wasn't already wind tossed and hot, now it was just bed head. "Has Giorno created the parts for Mista and Narancia yet?"

"Yea, he's finishing Narancia's right now, and then he can fix up (Y/N)." Trish nodded, brushing a hand over (Y/N)'s wrist. It was so... weird. And ugly. The charred edges and trembling arm, where was the hand so soft and gentle? Skin smooth and supple? "He should hurry..."

"Nah, I think Mista is fighting it a lot." (Y/N) snickered at the thought, finger combing her hair back to normal. "But anyways, how exactly are we going to get there?"

"Well, our only option might be walking. Stealing a car is much too risky at the moment, we are lucky to have landed in such a discrete location in the first place." Bruno waved a hand, eyes shifting to the direction they needed to travel. Until they could fix themselves, a taxi would be much too risky at the moment. "We could get a taxi service too..."

"I don't think that's the best idea..."(Y/N) pursed her lips, maybe it was just because she taught Giorno, but they really seemed like good targets. "Does that mean we'll have to walk? Can we rent bikes or something?"

"Ah...that... that's not a bad idea..." Bruno averted his gaze, bikes were rented and loaned all the time for tourists and they didn't require a lot of ID, only some money. But... He was a kid who didn't get to enjoy a lot of childhood pastimes, he spent his time helping his father out and attending school. There were many stairs and the roads weren't too bike friendly, in other words... "I've never ridden a bike before."

Shocked, (Y/N) grabbed his shoulder, her severed wrist ghosting over the other side. "Oh my god, that's okay, you can ride with me on the handlebar and experience fear by the reins of mercy."

"I'd rather not." He effortlessly declined. "If I sat on the handlebars, you can't see. And I'm seventy percent sure you'll run into a pole. Possibly on purpose."

"No, I'd never do that to my favorite Capo~" In a singsongy tone, she didn't hear Giorno finally emerging from the turtle after painstakingly fixing them both up. Turns out, even Narancia was more well mannered and well behaved when fixing up his wounds, even sharing stories when his friends used to play a game of chicken when they would find items to scrub onto their wounds to see who cried first. In all honesty, not... not a very sanitary game. Please never do this. Giorno's only real memory between the haziness was of (Y/N)'s lower half on the fridge, and knowing that she got bisected once before, he had to check to make sure she didn't get cut in half again. As she continued to pester the others, he made his way over to her back, placing his hands on her waist and checking for wounds. "Aha, ahahaha! That tickles! Hahaha! Wait, no, stop! P-please...! Haha!"

"I guess it was just a dream then. You didn't get cut in half..." Weird... he could have sworn he saw that...

"Oh, no, I totally didn't, but I still got cut." She pulled up her hand as his left her waist, she was still a bit out of breath from the oddly placed tickle session, but he stopped the moment he had his fill. It was still... weird though. "Got my hand chopped off, I tried to cauterize the wound, can you still fix it?"

"It's just replacing things, it should be fine." He waved a hand, taking a stone from nearby to shift. Gold Experience worked silently and quickly, reattaching the hand as one does for a friend. It was good as new, but she should probably give it a moment to rest before she did any strenuous activity. "Anything else? Like... maybe... your eye?"

(Y/N) paused, brushing a hand over her eyepatch. A new eye. Would it work? Would it be just as it had been two years ago? Could she see through it? "I... Maybe later, when this is all over."

"What are you waiting for? You should just fix it now." Abbacchio grumbled, there was no real reason not to, wasn't there? Was she just stalling? What was she scared of? God, the second he believes he figured her out, she gets ever more complicated.

"I mean... Yea, but... But... I... I don't think I should do it until after... you know? After we defeat the boss... I don't know if my vision will still be good, don't want to walk into things and stuff, y'know?" She laughed to herself, it was a last ditch excuse, but why was she so afraid? It really did make no sense, she should have said yes, and then everything would have been fine, wouldn't it have been? But she just... wasn't ready. Not now. "Anyway, so are we biking there?"

"Yes, let's move fast." Bruno nodded, fishing out some coins to rent a bike or two for a few of them to transport in.

-+-

(Y/N) yawned, it was her turn to stay in the turtle and rest up, they would be splitting up after a little longer, Giorno and Mista would protect Trish in the turtle and Narancia, Bruno, Abbacchio, and (Y/N) would go out to search for the man who took the photo. Bruno as a team leader of course, and Narancia and (Y/N) to scout the area. "Mmnh... We won't get to rest for a while, hm?"

There was no response, seeing as no one else was there. That was fine, she'll take a quick nap in the meantime- Her phone buzzed to life, some asshole was calling her. Now? Goddamnit. She fished it out of her pocket and hit the decline button, relaxing into the furniture just as the phone rang yet again, from the same caller. She grumbled and declined yet again, seriously debating whether or not to silence her phone, but then how would she contact La Squadra just in case they called? Oh fuck wait that WAS La Squadra! As they called again, she picked up and held the phone to her ear just as the loving voice of Illuso shouted at her. "Hey! You fucking prick!"

"Gee love you too I guess, asshole." (Y/N) grumbled, rubbing her temples to soothe the oncoming headache. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"There was a plane crash by the coasts of Sardinia, is that where you are heading?" Someone else's voice pitched in, it was calmer, so it was probably Prosciutto.

"Why would we head to the plane crash?" She joked, knowing full and well his original question. Across the phone, she could almost hear him drawing in a breath and trying not to reach through the phone to strangle her. "There's some coast that Trish's father took a photo at, so we are heading there right now. Do you guys know where Rissy is at the moment?"

"He's probably on his way to Sardinia like us, we hopped on a plane already, just waiting for takeoff." Formaggio chimed in, and Ghiacchio screeched in the background, something about them not 'hopping' or something. "Anyway, just checking in on ya, girlie. Don't die before we can get to you, okay?"

"You're asking for a lot, good sir. Anyway, love you all to bits! Get over here and hurry, I really feel like something big is going to happen." With a bunch of muddled goodbyes, she hung up, shoving her phone deep in her pocket to think. If it was on the news, even the boss knew where they were heading. The boss, Risotto, and them, all in one place... No wonder she felt so uneasy... "Will we really be okay?"

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