Apparition (Vento Aureo x Reader)

Not Now Sweaty, Mommy's Cyberbullying

She pressed the pin into her ear, securing it as a little earring. To be honest, the design was really cool, so like, why not? It was pretty small anyway, if you just glanced over it, it really just looked like a decorative piece. Now then, next order of business. Where the fuck is Vico Pallonetto Santa Chiara,8,80134 Napoli NA. Italy was cool and all, but it's impossible to find anything anywhere. She was in the right area, but this wasn't a place she visited often, she hadn't even brought her two boxes of stuff because she was almost certain someone would take it. Not that it would be easy to steal from her, she has managed to ride a raging wild bull until it literally ran into a tree and yeeted her into the stratosphere, she can handle some weak scrawny weakling looking to take some girls clothes. In the end, she managed to use like three different people and get a free brownie before knocking on the door of a smaller but not too small building. "Hello? Anybody home?"

After finishing her brownie, she wiped her hands and knocked again, taking out the envelope and looking at who it was addressed to. "Uh... Risotto?" Now, she is pretty sure this wasn't a restaurant, but maybe it needed a code word to activate, you know? Almost right after, a small hook went through the door and wrapped around her waist, embedding itself into her side. "Ow what the fuck??"

There was a hard pull on the string and she slammed right into the door headfirst, everything flickering out and turning black.

"Motherfucker that's like the second time this fucking week this is bullshit..." She groaned, rolling on her side and falling off the bed, trying to dull the throbbing in her skull by causing pain somewhere else. It didn't help, surprisingly, because she was on a couch and she just rammed her hip into the corner of a table or something and she's contemplating death. "... Maybe I should just be a cactus. Cacti don't have feelings."

"Oh shit, it's awake." An unknown voice called, followed by a higher, gayer voice. "Di Molto!"

Illuso, the first voice, helped the smol child up. Really, when she first appeared at their doorstep they thought she was some little girl scout trying to sell some cookies. Pesci almost opened the door when she pulled out an envelope addressed to their boss and they had to knock her out. They all read the note because they were all drama whores, and surprisingly, it was from Polpo, he wanted them to teach her to fight and escape, and send him updates about her stand, along with a fat wad of cash thicker than the fitness god's ass. Of course, their capo was out on a mission so now they just had some girl in the house until he decided what to do. The second gay voice, Melone, reached over to try and touch, but pigtail boy swatted his filthy hand away. "Cacti don't have genders, I just vomit out another me, that's how it works."

"What the fuck is that rambling about. Is it high? Did he send us a druggie?" Ghiacchio growled, foot raised and ready to kick the thing. Prosciutto intercepted, helping Pigtails set the girl down.

"First off, I'm not a thing, I'm (Y/N). Second off I'm not high, and third off, who are you guys." She rubbed her hip, the purple-haired man licking his lips at the action. She ignored him, looking for someone else for answers. Slowly, they started to introduce themselves one by one. She wouldn't remember any of those for a while but she still nodded like she knew their names by heart. "Neat. Anyone have any clue why I'm here?"

"You're here for training." the one with the buzz cut hummed. "Basically we're gonna make you ready for Mafia life. That is, if our boss agrees."

She nodded, humming gently. She had no clue what that meant but cool. "And if he says no?"

"He won't. We need money." Blond Buns muttered. "And teaching you means we get paid."

"Oh cool." She hummed. Honestly, she could be abducted by aliens and forced to fortnight dance for research and she would think everything is normal. It's been a wack month. "So training. How is that going to work."

"While you were sleeping I already calculated your body mass index." Blindfold licked his lips, before getting kicked in the face. Someone else noted that they watched and made sure he didn't do anything inappropriate. "And you already have a good amount of muscle, all we are going to do is just teach you stuff and how to use your stand. Maybe increase your pain tolerance."

"So everything you just said sounds great and all but that last bit sounds sketchy as fuck. Are you going to like, hurt me a lot? Cause I already got a good dose of that." She leaned back, absentmindedly running her fingers over her scars through the fabric of her shirt.

"Yea, you're gonna get hurt a lot."

"... what if I like, get a tattoo."

"What does that have to do with anything?!?" The blue one yelled.

"Well I always wanted a tattoo but I don't like needles and pain but if I have to get hurt, I want to get a TATTOO." She yelled back, cupping her hands so she was louder. That seemed to piss him off, and suddenly she was running down the halls for her life as some baby blue fucker was threatening to take her tongue.

After dodging him by jumping down three flights of stairs and bolting into the kitchen, she was easily grabbed and held like a caught kitten. (Y/N) froze, swaying limply as a certain BDSM clown scanned the girl up and down a few times before dropping her and taking the money. "Welcome to the team."

"Aw hell yea, I'm in the Emo squad."

"I will mURDER YOU."

Extra!

"And how old are you kiddo?" Formaggio ruffled her hair, holding his breath for a moment after realizing it was as soft as a kitten's coat.

"16." In the back of the room, she heard Melone silently thanking god for living in Italy, and then a sharp smack. "I just graduated, actually."

"Then why did you join the Mafia? You had your whole life ahead of you!" She heard a harsh voice from beside her, Prosciutto. Such a mom, he was. Of course, to any it would just look like a spoiled brat trying to do something exciting with her life, but to her, this was the only choice she had.

"Eh, I have some stuff in the past dragging me down." (Y/N) forced a smile, even if goosebumps ran up and down her legs. "Plus, there's nothing fun about being a ghost."

-+-

Bro w h a t

HON HOW- I made this as like a little crackfic why y'all spoiling me like this I'm gonna get cocky~

Thank you all for the love~<3