Complicated (r.j.lupin)

12 Grimmauld place

"You know...now I think about it, I'm pretty sure Tonks is Sirius cousin" Remus mumbled mindlessly.

"Wait...does that mean she is my cousin too?"

"It looks like that yes" He chuckled.

"Oh Jesus Christ" Caitlin breathed, dropping her head against his shoulder and letting out a pained laugh.

They sat against the stone steps outside of Hogwarts. The midnight air, brushing lightly against their skin as they looked out at the serene view of Scotland. They were both drained and their eyes were stinging from exhaustion. Remus let out a small sigh and rested his head against the top of hers.

"You know...the last time I looked out at the this view, I was leaving you" he whispered. "I thought I'd never be able to see it again and that thought scared me so much"

"Why did it scare you?"

"Because...because I spent over 7 years here as a boy...It was my home. I ventured through every corridor and laughed on every patch of grass and I was happy. I was happy with my friends and when I was leaving, I was ready...because I had soaked up every bit of magic Hogwarts had to offer. Yet after spending a year here...with you, I was terrified to leave. Because spending years on end here with Sirius and James and even Peter...It was absolutely nothing compared to the year I had with you. The magic never seemed to be fully absorbed...Every corner I turned there was more, more hope, more love, more laughter. All because of you, and I would never have been ready to let that go"

He looked up at the stars and took a deep breath, trying to steady his racing heart as memories of their time together came flooding back. His eye caught one star in particular and he smiled broadly at it.

"You see that star there?" He mumbled, pointing upwards to the bright light as she nodded in response, "I use to look at that star every night and think of you...bare in mind I would have had at least half a bottle of Whiskey down me" he chuckled, "But I would always look at that one from my window and be reminded of you, because it is the brightest and most beautiful out of them all"

"For me..." Caitlin started, "It was the moon"

"What was?"

"I would look up at the moon and think of you. I would blame that rock, that hung so smugly in the sky, and think of you...about what you were doing, where you were...just think of you" she whispered, her eyes landing on the crescent orb as she sent it a glowering look.

"I would blame it to..." Remus agreed, "But then I'd think, well a rock in the sky didn't tell me what to do, that would have been remarkable...It was me, it was my fault"

"Yep always is" Came a sarcastic voice from behind as they span their heads round to see Sirius leaning against the large oak door with his arms crossed, "This looks cosy"

"Come on then" Caitlin gestured, patting the floor at the other side of her for him to sit.

"Don't mind if I do" He grunted, lowering himself down onto the step and resting his arms over his risen knees.

The three of them sat in silence for around ten minutes, watching as the lights around them flickered off. The street of Hogsmead becoming pitch black and the feeling of danger and indifference floating in the air. A war was brewing and they all knew it. The outcome unknown and terrifying.

"And so it begins" Sirius sighed.

"So it does" Remus replied lowly, gripping a little tighter onto Caitlin's hand as they looked out.

"You think it will be the same as last time?" She asked nervously.

"I think there is large possibility yes." Remus stated slowly, placing a soft kiss on the top of her head soothingly.