Complicated (r.j.lupin)

Regrets

The next morning came all too quickly.

Caitlin flickered her eyes open, as the light from the window burnt her corneas. Her head ached and her mouth extremely dry with a rancid taste in it. She still wore the same clothes as last night, as she lifted her head to take in her surroundings. She was facing her bed on the opposite side of the room as she felt a body stir slightly next to her. Relaxing, she saw a very messy haired Liv lay next to her.

"Lovely" she muttered to herself as she heaved herself out of bed and towards the bathroom.

Her legs ached and and her head spun.

Taking in her appearance, she noticed dried tear marks on her cheeks and washed out mascara under her eyes.

"What the hell was I crying about?" she questioned, trying to recall the night before but with no luck.

She remembered feeling sick and leaving the hall but that was it. She prayed she hadn't done anything stupid.

She threw on a cream sweatshirt and some jeans and slowly made her way down to the great hall, hoping to God the House elves had provided a pepper-up potion. If not she'd have to go to Snape and she wasn't sure she had the right amount of energy to deal with a judgemental arse so early in the day.

She gradually made her way to large oak doors, rubbing her tender head with her two fingers on one side trying to soothe the pounding.

The hall was very quite, only few students sat on the house tables along with Dumbledore, Mcgonagal, Snape and Remus.

Remus.

She gave him a small smile as they made eye contact however not receiving the same back. Instead he just looked back down at his food and read his latest copy of The Daily Prophet.

'umm rude?' She thought, giving him a confused look but he just kept his eyes glued to his paper.

"What the hell is his prob-" she stopped mid-sentence. Eyes wide and embarrassment flooding her. It all came rushing back as if someone had undone an obliviate  charm.

"Oh my god" she whispered to herself, still stood in the middle of the hall as her hands found her hair running through the brown strands.

Remus had not slept a wink. How could he?

 He nearly kissed his student. Dumbledore was kind enough to entrust him with this job role despite his... problem, and he had nearly spat at it. He kept telling himself that was why he felt so guilty anyway.

It had nothing  to do with the fact that every muscle and fibre of his being wanted to run after her and do VERY unspeakable things. It had nothing to do with the fact that the look on her face when she thought he didn't want her made his heart shatter. And definitely had nothing to do with the fact that when back in his sleeping quarters, he replayed the most sensual moment he had ever experienced, over and over again in his head until the light shone through his window and the morning had began.

How her hands ran up his arms and down his chest causing him to lose all senses as pleasure took over and his eyes firmly shut. How her teeth tugged seductively at her beautiful bottom lip. How her eyes screamed of want and desire.

When she had walked in, his heart stopped. He had expected her to be in bed until the afternoon at least. That's why he came down, hoping he didn't have to run into her. Hoping he didn't have to experience the awkwardness. Yet she smiled. She smiled as if nothing had happened...unless.

She forgot. Of course she had. She was absolutely hammered.

There was no way she'd want him. No way that she would do any of that sober and he was a fool to think otherwise. How could he even assume that a girl like her would want a battered, tired poor, old man like him.