Complicated (r.j.lupin)

Pups

Sirius and Caitlin were passed out. Her head rested against a tear soaked shirt and his against the pillow, eyes shut peacefully with his arm wrapped around her back and hand in her hair.

"Rem please just go up to her" Liv sighed, watching as the man pulled book after book off the shelf in search for the topic Lycanthropy.

"She's asleep" he mumbled, not looking up from the book as he took a seat.

"Okay...well go lie with her...do something other then what you are right now, because it's not helping" Liv muttered in annoyance at his ignorance.

His eyes remained glued to the book, his hand running through his hair as he scanned over the words tirelessly, looking for answers.

"Remus" Liv called again gently, but inside she wanted to scream at him.

"Leave me alone Callwell" he grunted, to which she slammed the mug of tea down on the table and sent him a cold and annoyed look.

"Stop being a prick!" She exclaimed in a high tone.

Remus just scoffed ignorantly and shook his head.

"You don't get it" he muttered, lifting his head with blazing eyes, "I did this...I wasn't careful, I was irresponsible and careless, why? Because it felt good? I was being selfish"

"THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU! YOU SELF ABSORBED ARSEHOLE!" She shouted as his eyes shot wide in shock, "This is about her, and about those babies, she needs you...and I swear to god Lupin if you leave you will never see the light of fucking day again"

Remus slowly leant back in his seat, his eyes flickering shut as he let out a shaky breath and shook his head.

"I-I can't" he whispered, "I can't do this"

"Yep that's right...you do what you do best" Liv huffed, flinging her arms in the arm as he flinched at the volume, "Fucking leave"

"Liv...please-" he mumbled.

"Seriously Remus...fucking go! Because I'm not watching you do it 9 months down the line when those things actually come out!" She looked sternly into his sad eyes as he slowly stood up, turning to walk out the kitchen door.

Just the sight of it caused her to stumble back slightly, her eyes not believing what she was seeing, he was actually leaving.

"You fucking coward" She whispered in a wobbly voice, shaking her head in disgust as she stared at his hunched back walking away from her.

She watched as he reached the bannister towards the stairs, his eyes looking up to the hallway above him, his feet facing the door. His grip on the end of the bannister turning his knuckles white, as his entire body was pulling him back from the door. He didn't want to go. He didn't want to leave her.

His entire body screamed out to her, he wanted to hold her, kiss her, tell her everything was going to be okay.

She blinked. All Liv did was blink. And he was gone.

"R-remus?" She called out in fright, the door was closed, she didn't hear it shut, she didn't here a crack of apparation. But she did hear footsteps above her on the second floor. "Oh thankgod"

She dropped down into the chair behind her and ran her hands through her hair in stress and relief.

"Fuck I need a drink"

Remus heaved his shaking legs across the floorboards and to Sirius' room. His heart pounded in his chest as he turned the door handle, taking a deep and trembling breath as he entered, his eyes scanning the room and falling on the two.