𝐀𝐎𝐓 𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓𝐒/𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐒

Glow Stick | Jean x (Depressed) Reader

Prompt- Reader is having a hard time keeping up with training and Jean tries to help

⚠️TW⚠️- Death, knife, arguing

They say people are like glow sticks and need to crack before they can glow. And their right. Once someone has broken down, they build themselves up stronger. Only you didn't feel stronger, you felt like you kept breaking. Training for the military was hard enough, now you had to be able to master ODM Gear and how to kill a titan. You were barely 3 weeks in and you already wanted to quit.

You sat you tray on the table, next to Jean. He smiled and gave a cheerful good morning, that of which you did your best to return. He furrowed his brows slightly before brushing it off and continuing his meal.

Later that day, you practiced on the gear. Every time you'd get up and stable, you'd slip and hit your head. Again. And again. And again. Each time it hurt a little more and by the fifth time you swore you could hear your brain thinking. You continued to try, getting more and more angered each time you fell. Jean watched from afar, slightly cringing every time you fell. He wanted to help but he knew you well, you'd want to figure it out yourself. So, he stayed back, watching even as your head started to bleed from the constant forcefull blows that were laid upon, but you didn't stop. After a couple more tries he had enough, strutting over to you with an unamused look on his face.

"Your going to give yourself a brain bleed Y/n. Take a break at least... please." You grumbled a curse at him before ripping off the gear, not literally but from Jean's point of view your grip looked like it could've crushed the metal into crumbs.

You sat down on the grass and chugged water from a bottle jean had handed you.

"Y'know it's okay to ask for help right? No ones gonna look down on or make fun of you. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Id be happy to show you if y-"

"I don't want your damn help."

Jeans encouraging talk was interrupted by you who spit venom with your words. He didn't know what to do.

"Yeah well you need someone. You can't keep doing that. Your hurting yourself and not even making any progress!"

The peaceful talk Jean was trying to have was now a argument.

"I don't want help! I'll figure it out on my own! Get off my back about it! I'm perfectly fine."

"Yeah sure and Erens not an idiot. You need to let others help you Y/n. It's not the end of the world!"

"Easy for you to say! You talk about everyone have strengths and weakness but I don't see anyone with a weakness here but me! It like all of you took my strengths and exchanged it for your weaknesses. I suck at everything Jean! Do you know how that feels? I know people stare! I know people whisper! Even you, you watched me the whole time judging me! Now you wanna play hero! News flash- I don't need to be saved!"

"Yes you do because they'll either kick you out of you'll be eaten! Why can't you see that i'm trying to help? I don't need fame or glory or to be a hero! I want to help you Y/n! Why can't you see that I care?"

"Then stop caring."

Jean froze. He had had a crush on you since the beginning and hearing those words.... they hurt him.

"Fine if that's what you really want."

"It is."

"Good."

"Good."

Over the next couple days Jean did as he said he would and stopped caring. Though it didn't just end at you, the plague of your words effected his whole world. Life was different. He didn't smile and say high to friends anymore. He didn't stay out and instead he was in his room- staring at the wall, trying to occupy himself, or sleeping. Though, they everything felt the same. Numb. You were the same too, though much hadn't changed. You still didn't go out and instead, like Jean did, stayed holed up in your room.