Levi x Reader - Patience

17

SMILE AND SHAKE IT OFF, SMILE AND SHAKE IT OFF.  You had talked with Jean and Hange the whole way back, with an energetic tone. They kept bugging you with hundreds of questions, wanting to know how you managed to make it out alive. They mostly wanted to know about the blood that was hugging your whole body. You just told them little things, really not wanting to revisit the scenes that had been playing in your head over and over on a continuous loop.

"I had the idea of using my blades as hooks, I stabbed into the tree as I used my strength to pull myself up until I reached the top" you said trying to sound happily.

"WOW" They breathed as Levi rolled his eyes hearing you brag about how you managed to escape the titans. It was so typical of you to brag thought Levi.

"It's not that big of a deal, please calm down" you said smiling at them the best you could.

They just continue asking you questions, never truly satisfied with your answers. You never gave them enough details nor did you answer anything related to the blood that reeked. As you finally made it to HQ, you quickly dismounted off the horse they lend you and fast walked while still limping to your room. You felt someone catch up to you, Jean. He didn't say anything, knowing truthfully that you didn't really feel like talking at the moment. He could tell from the moment he saw you, you were not the same Y/N. You had a sad aura surrounding you. As you both reached your door you looked up at him and nodded. He gave the same gesture back and headed off.

Closing the door, you quickly locked the door not wanted to be disturbed. HOPEFULLY SASHA WILL UNDERSTAND. You ran into the bathroom and slipped off the distinguishing clothes that reeked of death. Turning on the water you slipped in and quickly started rinsing the sticky blood off your hair. An image of the body getting squished right in front of you as you tried reaching for their gear played in your head. Its blood splashed on top of the horses blood from earlier. You froze in horror, you ran up to the body placing it in your arms. Why you did it was unknown, you felt the need to. It looked lonely. You just wanted to save everyone, you were desperate for humanity to be saved from the foul creatures. You look at the body, it's guts all rearranged. You broke down. You had snapped and lost it. Grabbing the corpses intestines you tried to put it back in their proper place, hoping the life of the corpse will reappear once again. You snapped back staring at your arms that was filled with blood from the corpse's body. The hands that once held the body and it's insides. You scrubbed at your arms hard, washing the blood and sorrow off. You kept scrubbing harder and harder. The blood had come off but your eyes and mind were lying to you. They kept seeing blood there, nothing was coming off. Soon blood reappeared, but it was yours. You were scrubbing like crazy you had managed to peel off your skin from the rubbing and scrubbing. Your fresh wounds were burning and stinging like crazy, but you were so numb you felt nothing. The water turned crimson red from your blood. You looked at the bloody water then up at the water that hit you from above. Your mind created the water from the shower head to turn into blood. Images once again flashed through your head. You then looked down. You just stared blankly at your hands and arms still seeing their blood there. It was as if it was a new permanent tattoo that will forever kiss your skin and remind you of the horrors you faced. Tears streamed down your face, but they disguised itself as part of the water that hit you from the shower head. Knocks at the bathroom door snapped you backed to reality. It was Sasha.

"You accidentally locked me out dummy!" you heard her say from outside the door.

"Oh sorry, I was so tired I didn't notice!" you said with a cheerful voice as you stared off at the wall.

"Tell me about it! I'm pooped, I'm heading to bed. See yah in the morning Y/N"

"Sweet Dreams Sasha"