Levi x Reader - Patience

30

The next Expedition was only a week away. The thoughts and nightmares had become more darker and worser as the day approach. The only thing you could do was avoid as much sleep as you could, afraid of not only that, but the fear of hallucinating once again and hurting yourself like you did the first night you had came back. You hate being alone, Levi was more busy than ever. The topic was just too sensitive to accept just anyone's company so, instead you would go visit the sky. You would share your sorrow to it and your deepest fears and regrets. 

You waited till late night to sneak out of your room once again. You slipped on your cardigan and made your way out. Today's destination, you've decided the pond, wanting to see the beautiful sky merge with the water's reflection giving you double of the night sky view. Happy with your choice, you sat on the slightly wet grass, you ran your fingers through it feeling satisfaction. Feeling the wetness, your mind shot back to the hand that always caressed your face. The way it's cold and damp fingers had lightly traced your lips. You placed your fingers on your lips and started tracing them, wondering if they had really put the tint of crimson red on you, or you had applied the lipstick. 

Stuck in your thoughts you were unaware of the company that now sat next to. They didn't say a word, they were busy admiring you and taking in your facial features trying to memorize everything about you. Breaking away, you turned to find Erwin smiling warmly at you. You smiled back. Needing a bit of company and warmness you threw your arms around his waist and hugged him causing the both of you to fall back into the grass. You stayed in that position just laying on his chest while Erwin just stared up at the sky as he caressed your hair. He could smell the your shampoo as it lingered through his nostrils.

"I love when you have your hair down" he whispered.

"Then remind me to tie it more often" you whispered back, earning a small chuckle from Erwin and yourself.

After a while of laying in silence Erwin broke the comfortable silence.

"Remember our first conversation"

"How could I not, I was super nervous to talk to you"

"Not as much as me"

"You were?" You said sitting up to face him not buying it. After all he was the Commander and you were just a cadet and during that time you knew nothing about him. You just had a deep admiration from him for his leadership skills, but from there you knew nothing of his persona.

He looked into your eyes, "Of course, I well- the time we had bumped into each other I thought you were very beautiful and your personality was very charismatic"

Turning red at the compliment you couldn't help but reply, "So you found me whining over bread charismatic" you laughed.

Erwin broke into a laugh "Yes, very"

You laughed along side with him at the thought till you calmed back down. 

"Well that night we had converse we had both agreed that we both hate being alone. We'd rather be surrounded by our peers and companions even if they slightly frustrated us"

"Yes, I remember. It was one of the first things, we found to have shared in common"

silence.

".......Is it wrong to fear, dying alone. Not being able to say goodbye to anyone"

You looked at his eyes who were glued the entire time on you, they looked a bit glossy, but it could just be due to the reflection of the moon that swam in his blue eyes.

"No, if I must confess. I think that's my biggest fear" now laying next to him, playing with his hair as you thought of the day you almost did die alone in the forest, how awful it was and how you had wished to have been able to say your farewells.

Erwin grabbed your hand and placed it in his big hands looking at it. He rose it to his lips and kissed your hand gently. 

"Then promise me, we both won't die alone. Promise we'll be able to see each other once more before we say goodbye"

Your eyes weld up with tears hearing him speak. You grabbed one his hands back and kissed it  back, 

"I promise Erwin" 

Happy with your response he pulled you into a tight hug into his chest wanting to hold you. He stared up at the sky thanking it as he tried his best to absorb the tears back into his eye sockets. He was really glad to have someone like you by his side. Someone who shared not only common interests, common humor but common fears. The time he's spent with you, he's come to the realization that he had slowly fallen in love with you. He just wanted to know if you had felt some type of way towards him as well. The tender moment you both just shared had to be because you care for him as much as he cares for you right. Of course you did care and love  Erwin immensely, but was it the type of love that would form a relationship like Erwin wanted?

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