A Twist Of Fate

Chapter 21

Walking in the room I see that Isabella has already left. She must of road the elevator down while I ran up the stairs.

My phone rings and the picture of Elias and I laying on his bed pops up. I want to answer it, but I can't move. I can't breath. I'm having g another panic attack. Everything is closing in on me and I feel like I'm suffocating. I'm losing myself to this battle. It's like a Ferris wheel. When I'm on the top I feel free, but once it reaches the bottom I feel like I'm getting sucked into a time loop of that painful day.

I feel nothing, I feel dead inside. I'm losing the last shred of hope that I have left. It's happening again. "Make it stop." I think I say. It sounds like my voice, but it doesn't. "Make it stop." I hear myself say again as Elias walk in.

I don't know what's goin on. I feel crazy. I hear Ben, but I hear Elias. "Make it stop." I pull my hair.

I hear Isabella crying for help." Make it stop." I'm shaking back and forth I don't know why. "Make it stop." I see Coach Smith as he's on top of Bella who is now staring at me as tears roll down her face. I want to help her but I can't. My legs won't work. "S-Stop. Don't hurt her. Do-don't touch B-Bella, please. T-Take me instead. I-I won't fight b-back this t-time. I pro-promise."

Then I feel it. The cold water that's surrounding me. It's like ice piercing my veins, and after what feels like hours, I feel my toes move inside my socks and shoes. I hear the sound of my teeth chattering against each other and sound of my heartbeat in my ear slowly fades away, I can think again and I feel numb, but it's the type of numb you feel when your drenched in cold water. "I-I'm c-cold."

"Is it okay if I wrap a towel over your shoulders? I won't touch you. I promise."

I nod and begin to hear the cold water drain from the tub as I feel a warm towel drop over my shoulders and I sigh in relief as it feels like it's here to protect me. Shield me against the danger that's in this world, against the danger that lives in my head.

I look around me and see Ben sitting on the other side of the restroom with his hands on his laps. Sitting still. Not making any sudden movements that might startle me, trigger me.

"T-Thank you, B-Ben." I smile through my teeth clattering.

"I brought you some of Elias' clothes to change into. His scent might comfort you. I'm just going to stand up and walk out, so you can change into his warm clothes. After that just call me and I will come back and sit right here." He points to where he is currently sitting.

I shake my head no. "Can y-you give me some of I-Isabella's clothes. I-I n-need her."

Ben nods and stands up slowly and goes into the room. I slowly stand up and step out of the bathtub as well. I can do this. I'm strong. I'm brave. I'm loved. I repeat it over and over in my head until I start to believe it.

I hear movement in my room and then slow footsteps approaching. "I'm going to set these right here. Call me when you're done." I nod to Ben and then he closes the door.

After getting dressed, I towel dry my hair then slowly walk out of the bathroom and see Ben sitting on Isabella's bed.

"Lani, Isabella wants to talk to you." I nod my head and walk over to Ben and grab the phone.

Seeing her face makes me burst into tears and I quickly wipe them away. "Are you okay, babe? Do you need me to have Logan drive me back?" Isabella says as tears stream downer face.

I need to do this without her. For three years she's been my backbone and it's time I learned how to do this on my own, and I will.

"N-no." I crock out and clear my throat. "No. Logan needs you. You stay with him. I'm okay, I promise. Besides I have Ben here with me." I smile and look towards Ben. She looks at me through teary eyes before nodding her head and smiling.