A Twist Of Fate

Chapter 30

Lan,

My sweet beautiful, Lani. I have loved you since I first laid my eyes on you. You had just walked into my house with my mom and Bell. You had on a pink Disney Princess shirt with white shorts and two pig-tails holding your long, wavy brown hair. My heart had skipped a beat and when you looked up and smiled, I felt my heart begin to beat erratically. I didn't know what it was back then, but I now know it was love. I have always loved you and I always will, Lan. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you and my sister. Y'all both got hurt and I couldn't do anything to save y'all and it's killing me. The two women I love most in this world, are hurting. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being there and I'm sorry for all those hurtful things I said to you that night. The truth is I was hurt. I was hurt and I wanted you to feel at least a fraction of what I was feeling that night and the next. I had to watch the woman I love (you) be in the arms of my best friend. I know that's not an excuse, but truth is, it hurts to see you with him, especially when I close my eyes so I try not to. I now realize that me and you were never meant to be, and I'm okay with that, now. Maybe in the next life we will be together. I choose you now and I'll choose you then, but enough about that. The truth is I've been drowning for months and no ones even noticed. I thought I could find myself, but I can't. I'm so lost, Lani. The darkness is to much and I can't take it anymore. I can't take this pain anymore. The demons in my head are calling for me and I've tried, Ive tried so hard to fight them, but the pain is to unbearable. I'm decided the only way to over come this is to give into the darkness, into the demons demands. Don't worry though time didn't stop for me and it won't stop when I'm gone. Please don't blame yourself. It was something I thought I could handle on my own but I guess I was wrong. By the time you get this letter I will be at peace. I love you! Please remember that and remember the good in me. Always and forever I will carry you with me, my beautiful Lan."

Forever yours, Logan!

I drop the paper and with shaky hands I wipe the fat tears that won't stop coming down my face. Wh... why... no! No, it can't be. I panic.

With blurry vision I grab my keys and run out the door not bothering to lock it and run as fast as I can down the stairs to reach my car.

By the time I make it to my car, I'm drenched in water from the thunderous rain. Even the sky is crying for what Logan's is about to do. No. I shake my head. He won't succeed. I will stop him. I will save him.

I feel another fresh batch of tears and a sob leave my lips. I quickly wipe my tears as they begin to blur my vision and call Logan, but it goes straight to voicemail. I call Bella and Ben and it goes straight to voicemail as well. They have their phones off.

"Think Lani, think," I pound my fist on my forehead. "Elias!" I quickly dial his number but he doesn't answer either.

"Fuck!" I yell and hit the steering wheel. This can't be happening. I press on the accelerator and sigh in relief when I see the frat house up ahead. I barely have enough time to park the car and close the door by the time I'm running up the stairs and past a few of the guys who are in the living room. I hear I few say "what the fuck" as the front door slams against the drywall behind it.

I shake my head and push myself to run faster up the stairs and into Logan's room. I slowly close the door while looking around. I don't see him and my heart drops. He's here. I seen his car out front, but where is he?

He has music playing for background noise and I quickly run to his closet and see he's not there. I let a sigh of relief out and quickly run to the restroom.

I burst through the doors and see a wide eyed Logan staring back at me. "Logan, please don't." I wipe my tears as I look at the dried tear stains on his cheeks. I run to him and throw my arms around him causing the pills in his hands to fall and scatter around the bathroom floor. "D-Don't le-leave me. Don't le-leave Bella, pl-please." I cry into his neck.