Beautiful Disasters- Hawks x OC

Chapter 109

      When the time came for Mariko's burial three days later, Hayato went alone. He didn't bring his wife and daughter; he knew Mari wouldn't want them to witness her being lowered into the ground. Actually, the brunette had once told him that she didn't want anyone coming to her burial at all. She didn't want them bearing such a memory, they already had enough nightmares as it was. Truth be told, Hayato agreed. He didn't want to be there. He didn't want to watch his little sister be placed in a hole six feet underground and covered up with dirt. He didn't want to think about the life she'd had ahead of her. He didn't want to think about never being able to see her again. He didn't want to think about any of it, but after taking a deep breath, he climbed out of the driver seat of his car and made his way to the burial site. He had to be there, there was no way he wouldn't be there for her the last time she would ever need him. He knew she needed him to take care of Araya who had been a complete mess ever since they'd called it. He was her older brother, he had to be strong for her.

      Keeping that resolve proved to be much more difficult as he got closer to the hill she was to be buried on. Sakura, Araya, Fujio, and Hawks were all there. Those were the only people who were going to attend the burial as far as Hayato knew. The fact that the group was so small made him melancholy. Mariko had never had the chance to build a life and form many friendships because of her life in the division, and just as she had begun to break out of her shell she'd died.

      The ceremony had been awful. All of them were hoping for the moment when someone would rush onto the scene and announce that it was all fake, that Mariko was really alive. It never came. The only interruption was Sakura sobbing miserably whenever she so much as glanced at Mariko's coffin as it was being lowered onto the ground. After placing a flower, Araya had sat down on a chair and put his head in his hands. He didn't move after that. Fujio had raised his hand to his head, resolving to salute his captain until they were done laying her to rest. He knew the lieutenant wouldn't see it that way, but for Hayato, the gesture was a cruel reminder that all Mariko had ever had to her name was a ghost career in the military. It was the only recognition she would ever get for giving her life away to her country.

     Then there was Hawks- the blonde hadn't so much as spoken since they started. He hadn't said anything about her when the time came, Hayato wasn't even sure if he was breathing. He knew he was more heartbroken than any of them though. Sure, they had all known Mariko longer, but none of them loved her the way he had. She was their past and present, but she was his future. He couldn't even begin to imagine what he was feeling. The hero just stood there, his hands balled into fists inside his pockets, and shadow permanently settled on his face.

      The four of them stood and stared at the gravestone. Hayato read the name etched into it over and over again, the sight of it there was so surreal. He almost couldn't believe it. He bit his lip harshly, trying to fight back the sudden and almost overwhelming urge to cry.

        It was deathly silent as they all began to part ways. Hawks was the first to disappear. Hayato didn't know where he went- he was there one moment and gone the next. Fujio left with Sakura, the young woman being too distraught to drive herself home. Now, Hayato was waiting for Araya. The dark-haired male hadn't said goodbye to any of them, he hadn't moved an inch.

        "She promised me," he whispered hoarsely. "She promised she wasn't going to leave me alone."

        Hayato sighed and stood next to his friend. "I know, and I know she's probably kicking herself for breaking it. She had every intention of coming back."

        "I couldn't do anything to help her. I could only watch as she bled out right next to me."

      "It's not your fault."

    "It is."

      "Araya-

       "DAMNIT HAYATO I KNEW!" he shouted, getting the attention of the graveyard workers who were putting the rigging away.

      The blonde stared at him, surprised at the sudden change in volume.

     "Before the mission, Mari told me she had a bad feeling. She's always been right about it and I knew... I knew better than to doubt her on it. I didn't. I believed her that something was going to happen that night, but I put the mission first. It's... it's my fault she died."

       He sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. "It's not. She knew what he was doing. Mariko was a grown-ass woman, and this decision was hers. She took responsibility the minute she insisted on taking Mineko on by herself. This was her way of owning up, so don't take that from her. It's neither of your faults."

       Araya's shoulders shook as he let out a choked sob.

      Hayato looked down at the headstone before closing his eyes tightly to push back his own tears. "Was it worth it?" he asked himself.