Beautiful Disasters- Hawks x OC

Chapter 77

When Keigo finished his shower, he had started to sober up. He hadn't noticed Mariko had walked in until he saw the neatly folded towels and clothes that were placed on the counter. Grabbing one of the towels, he was surprised to find that they were warm. His eyebrow furrowed and he closed his eyes, exhaling slowly. "Why...why do you do things like this when I'm being a jackass?"

After drying himself off and changing into the clothes she'd picked out for him, he wandered into the kitchen where a bowel was sitting on the counter, still steaming next to a mug. He approached the meal gingerly and immediately recognized it was hangover soup. She'd also made him tea. For a moment, he was reminded of the first time he'd gone to her apartment almost a year ago. She'd offered him the same thing; tea as an alternative to drowning his problems in alcohol. He stared at the cup, his heart clenching with guilt. "Why am I such a prick?"

He spun around the room, looking for the brunette. There was no sign of her leaving, her shoes were still at the entrance, so he knew she hadn't left the apartment. Keigo closed his eyes, concentrating so he could sense her vibrations. She was in the guest room for once. He was easily able to sense her breathing though it was a bit abnormal; her breaths seemed to come in gasps. "She's crying" he realized.

He walked to the door, turning the handle only to find it locked. He could hear her clearly now. She was sniffling slightly as she tried to control her breathing. "Fuck I made her cry this time," his throat seemed to close up at the thought. "Mari," he called out raspily, "can I come in?" he asked.

There was no response, but he didn't want to leave her crying by herself, especially when he was the reason she was crying in the first place. He slipped two feathers under the door and into the room. One went to Mariko. He closed his eyes, feeling the droplets of water soak into the feather as it brushed against her cheeks. She grabbed it gently and removed it from her face. She didn't let go of it, she just held it.

The other feather he'd sent out quickly and quietly unlocked the bedroom door. The room was dark, all lights were off and the only source of illumination was the light that now streamed in from the hallway. Mariko sat on the floor next to the bed. Her head was buried in her knees as she twirled the feather between her thumb and index finger. She'd stopped crying, but her breaths were still shaky and uneven. Keigo approached slowly and sat down next to her. She stiffened as soon as she felt his presence but made no move to actively acknowledge it. He gently placed a hand on hers. It was enough to make her look at him; at least she hadn't pulled away.

"I know it's not easy," she whispered hoarsely. "It's scary and dangerous and it's unfair that I'm putting you through this. I know that." Her grip on the feather tightened slightly, "I know that...but I don't want you to leave."

He stared at her, shocked. "She thought I was going to leave her?" Guilt was consuming him now, and he couldn't decide whether or not he felt like crying or punching himself. "What kind of boyfriend makes his girl think he's leaving her?" he wondered bitterly. "Mari, look at me," he instructed. When she didn't he cupped her face in his hands and tilted her head up to look at him.

Her expression was sobering. She looked heartbroken like he'd already gone out the door. Her face was tear-stained, and her eyes were watery as she held back more tears. Mariko didn't cry easily and it killed him to know he'd hurt her. "I'm so full of shit," he thought. "There's no way I'd ever leave you, and I am so so sorry that I made you think that way. I love you too much to even think about that. You're everything to me Chickee," he said earnestly.

The brunette stared at him for a moment, "Then why..."

"You said it yourself; the mission is dangerous. You're gonna be on the front lines and I can't be with you to protect you or make sure you're okay. Mari-" his voice cracked-" there's a possibility that you don't make it out of there. You could die and we're never gonna see each other again. We wouldn't be able to tell each other 'I love you' anymore and everything would just end. Like I said you're my everything, so when they started talking about sending you there I saw it. I saw it so clearly. I saw your funeral and your gravestone and everyone standing but no one was mourning. It was like the world was coming apart at the seams. I shouldn't've handled it the way I did; it was stupid. But I wanted to drive that image out of my mind completely. I never want to think about it again because I know that you need to do this. I know that... but I can't just let you go if there's a chance I'm never gonna be able to hold you like this again. Do you have any idea what it'd do to me if you died?" he asked. "I'd lose it. I would go insane Mari. I'd lose my fucking mind. I'm not gonna leave you, that's the last thing I'd ever consider doing. But I'm terrified that you're gonna be the one who leaves, and that fear makes it so hard for me to think about letting you go. I know I handled it really shitty and I'm so sorry I made you feel that way."

Mariko stared at him, her eyes wide as saucers. Keigo had gotten a bit emotional during his speech and his eyes were glossy and tears pricked at the corners. No one had ever cared about her that much, she hadn't even thought it was possible for her to mean that much to someone. The realization had left her dumbfounded. "How..." she started, "How did I get so lucky?" she asked.

"What?"

"Marry me." The statement was bold and somewhat random, but she didn't regret it one bit. At that moment Mariko had decided there would be no one else. She didn't need or want anyone but him. She'd forsake everything if it meant she got to be with him every single day. She'd even say she'd lived a happy life if it meant she got to do that.

Keigo's eyes widened in shock. "What?" he asked. "There's no way this is happening. There's no way."

"Let's get married," she repeated.

"You-you're serious?"

Mariko nodded. She wasn't joking. She was serious about this.

He was at a complete loss of words. He'd known even before they'd started dating that he wanted to marry her. He'd even dreamed about it. Every day on patrol he passed a jewelry store and every day he would walk in, look at the engagement rings and chicken out of buying one every single time. He'd known she was the only girl for him; but there were so many milestones they hadn't yet reached just as boyfriend and girlfriend he'd thought she'd freak out if he'd even so much as brought the topic up. "Like... right now?"

The brunette laughed- a melodious sound- her eyes shined with mirth. "No, not right now. Maybe, after all, this is over and we've had a chance to date normally for a while."

Keigo tackled her to the ground as he peppered her face with kisses- something that was a bit difficult to do since he was smiling so much. How could he not though? She was perfect for him; she was his other half... and she'd just asked to marry him. Who wouldn't be absolutely ecstatic after something like that? "Let's get married," he echoed, kissing her on the lips.

Mariko nodded. Her eyes were still closed from the kiss, but she too had a smile present on her face.

For a moment, they stayed intertwined, enjoying the now happy and peaceful silence between them as they both marveled at their luck in finding a fantastic partner. "Mari... how come you decided to ask right now?" he asked breaking the silence. He momentarily pulled away from her to sit up then gathered her in his lap.

She faced him; a smirk played at her lips though her eyes held nothing but adoration for him. "I realized how insanely lucky I am to have you in my life, how blessed I am that you love me. You are absolutely amazing in every way imaginable Kei and I want to lock you down as soon as possible before anyone can even think of trying to steal you away. I want you to be mine, just as much as I want to be yours," she whispered.

Her words sent delicious shivers down his spine and he felt his cheeks start to warm up from the praise. Not to mention he found her sudden possessiveness extremely attractive. "I didn't know you were the jealous type," he teased, bringing his face closer to hers.

Mariko flushed and looked away, "I'm not really," she muttered.

His lips twisted into a smirk. "You sure? You're not worried about some other girl swooping in and taking me away seeing as I'm so "absolutely amazing"?"