Beautiful Disasters- Hawks x OC

Chapter 59

Mariko knew immediately that something was wrong with Keigo when he got home. There was no grand entrance, he didn't even announce that he'd arrived. At least not the way he usually did, this time she'd known he'd come home when the door slammed shut.

"Kei?" she asked, walking into the living room. Her voice was small and unsure.

The blonde stiffened for a moment as he placed his jacket on the hook. He wasn't just angry at Sosa; he was angry at Mariko too. She wasn't stupid, she was observant and intelligent. He had no doubt that she knew exactly what kind of situation he'd been walking into and what both men's reactions would've been. She didn't tell him anything though. She'd let him be completely humiliated by her asshole of a best friend and let him go in blind and unsuspecting.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

               "What's wrong?" He wondered furiously.

Mariko flinched when he turned to her. The usually soft golden hue of his irises had turned bright orange and swallowed up his pupils like roaring flames.

Seeing her flinch, he turned his gaze to the floor. Even if he was absolutely pissed; the last thing he wanted was for her to fear him. "You knew." It wasn't a question; it was a statement.

The brunette stayed quiet for a moment before she realized what he was talking about. "He's talking about the mission." "I read the file a couple of days ago," she admitted. There was no reason to hide it.

"Were you just not going to tell me then?" he asked.

She raised an eyebrow. "I knew Araya would tell you at the meeting. It was better that you heard it from him anyway since he's the case agent for it," she explained.

Keigo grit his teeth, "So you weren't."

"I'm not allowed to brief you-"

"Don't I mean more to you than some goddam rules?!" he shouted.

Mariko stared at him, eyes wide. "Of course you do." 

He shifted his gaze to her, his eyes still ablaze. "How do you think it felt for me to find out from that bastard that you were going to turn yourself into the league completely unprotected?!" he exclaimed.

Mariko tilted her head, "You're worried?" she asked. She couldn't understand why. She'd been certain Araya would've explained why she was qualified.

He looked at her incredulously. "Of course I'm worried I can't just flip a switch and think of you as some goddam tool or a weapon Mari! To me you'll always be someone I need to protect I don't give a shit if you're a civilian or a soldier. I am never going to be okay with you putting yourself in danger like this!"

She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at him. "I thought you said you understood this was something I needed to do," she said slowly.

The blonde threw his hands up in the air frustratedly. "I do understand! But there's a difference between understanding and accepting Mariko Don't you think this was something I should've heard from you instead of your ass of an ex-boyfriend? You know I would've needed time to think about it! Not because I think you can't do it, but because I love you! I'm scared shitless that you might get hurt and I might be able to help you! How could I possibly be okay with that?!... Then that bastard had the goddamn nerve to fucking rub it in my face that he grew up with you, dated you, and lived with you and fucking acted like I was wrong for being worried about you! That wasn't right Mari... you should've told me."

Mariko visibly deflated at his words as guilt flooded her body. "He's right," she thought. She knew Araya like the back of her hand of course he would try to push Keigo's buttons he'd been doing it since they met. She should've known that he would use his past with her to do it too. She should've known that Araya would corner him into making a decision. "He's got every right to be mad," she thought.

He looked at her, the fire in his eyes had died a bit now that he'd gotten most of his anger out of his system. He immediately felt guilty seeing the distraught expression on the brunette's features. "Fuck I'm an asshole," he thought. He shouldn't have blown up on her like that. No matter how angry he was it hadn't been right.

She broke first and walked towards him, wrapping her arms around his waist. "You're right," she started. "I should've known Araya would act like that and I should've talked to you about it beforehand. I'm so sorry Kei."

Just like that, the last of his anger had been whisked away. He just couldn't be upset with her when she called him that.

Mariko looked up at him, relieved to see that his irises had returned to the soft sunset she was used to.

Keigo sighed and returned the embrace. He placed a kiss on her forehead and propped his chin on her head. "I shouldn't've blown up like that," he told her. "That was a dick move. I'm sorry."

She shook her head and hugged herself closer to him, "You had every right to get angry. You were right."

"I love you Mari so next time, tell me. For my sake."

She lightly placed a kiss on his chest, "I love you too."