CHOICES (Completed)

PROLOGUE

November 30, 2020. Liverpool.

“Fuck you, Hardin Scott!”

He snatches my bottle of beer, right out of my hands, and bangs it onto the table. I don’t even get to process the jerk in my hand, as the glass shatters disastrously, in front of me. I jump in shock, bracing my eyes, from the impact. HOLY FU-

“What the- have you lost it?” I shout out, in a furious shock.

“Seriously? After all you did, you have the nerve to ask me, if I have bloody lost it? What the hell is wrong in your head?”

He dashes my arm forcefully, making me stumble off the kitchen stool, and I stagger on my feet. I barely stand up, before he grips my t-shirt at the collar, and bangs me against the wall forcefully. An ache shoots up my back, and I squint my eyes in pain as I look at his, glaring down at me angrily.

“Trev listen to me-“

“No I’m not listening to you! I knew you would do something, but this? Hardin, who does this? To anyone?”

Trevor’s shouting voice booms in my already reeling head and he lands a full force right hook, across my jaw. Fuck.

He’s gone all out. After everything, even Trevor’s not getting it. He’s taking her side too. It’s just- another thing she has stolen from me. And Trevor, is asking me why? He can’t see it. Why can’t anyone fucking see it?!

I push him with all I got, and he jerks back.

“You’re asking me that? You know what she has done. You know what happened.”

“And you thought this, was how you’d repair it?”

I rake my hand through my hair, pulling it in frustration, trying to get my head off from this current tantrum Trevor’s throwing at me.

He thinks repair is possible. I chuckle sardonically. If only.

Every night I try to think of it- amendment. And that’s one morning that never comes.

Every night. No one to hold. No one to save.

Every night.

“Oh we’re way past repair, Trevor.”
The day flashes before me like lightning and I shudder.

Open it. Let me out! Let me-

It was them, Hardin.

Hardin, I don’t- I don’t feel so good.

 

“That is in the past, Hardin-“

“Shut up! You think I love this? Going to such lengths to hurt her, hurt people? I have been burning and hurting, ever since that day, and what, I was just supposed to forget everything and fall in bloody love with her?”

“Hardin, if you think-“

“I’m not done, Trevor.” I take a step towards him, hanging on to control by a thread.

I don’t want to fight him, but I can’t help, as he continues to steer me towards the one dark place I’ve been running from ever since.

Thankfully, he does stop talking. I have had enough judgement to last me a lifetime.

“We both have had a fair share of pain, and I’m sorry if I couldn’t emerge a diamond through the fire, like you. You may be living with honour and dignity and virtue and every other fancy word you find in those books of yours, putting on your best version, living as the hero, saving, helping… Loving.