CHOICES (Completed)

NOT YET

I sniff lightly and look straight ahead, determined not to look at him.

“Go ahead. Congratulate yourself. I messed up. But then you always knew that I would. And now finally Trevor Matthews will be gracing us with his much needed presence because I can never manage anything! I can never handle a thing.

At least that’s what both of you think.” I say, throwing all my angst and frustration into my voice while still staring ahead.

“Tessa, everyone knows that you can handle full well anything that comes your way.”

“Didn’t feel like that yesterday, did you?”

“I told you to tie the hair becau-“

“Because you thought that some stupid young asshole would be too attracted by it and make a pass at me which I wouldn’t be able to manage. Little Miss Disaster falls into trouble and Mr. Save The Day has to come save her again.

Even Hardin thought that I can’t handle one boy for a few minutes and he went on to punch Axel, without any reason. I’m just sick of it.”

I wipe the fresh set of tears that fall while I can sense Trevor watching me intently.

“Axel? Cordon?” I don’t answer as I roll my eyes. Out of all that he caught just this? These two boys are going to be the end of me.

“Trevor, don’t start-“

“Tessa, Axel is bad news. He doesn’t have that great of a reputation with girls. With anyone, for that matter, you don’t know hi-”

“So does Hardin. Are you saying that he’s unsafe too? It’s not the guy Trevor, it’s both of your thought processes.

Hardin thinks he has the right to boss me because we kissed and he opened up about Brit.

And you think you have it because you’ve always saved me from my fudged up messes!”

Trevor goes completely silent and still. A deafening silence screams in my ears and I try to fight with my everything.

“Theresa, have I ever complained?” He speaks, so soft and hushed that I turn to look at him through my heavily wet eyes. Water dances in them as I look at him gazing at me.

“Ever – gloated? Denied?” I lose it more and more with every word of his as his look intensifies.

“I’m here, I will be. And I don’t need to take a price for that.” His words are my undoing and I lunge forward wrapping my arms around his shoulders and bury my face into the crook of his neck.

He gets surprised but relaxes the next moment, holding me gently as I sob uncontrollably.

And in this moment, I realise that they had been right all along. I can’t manage myself. I’m so weak. I hate this.

Look at your very own pathetic and delusional self.

You are such a parasite!

You don’t deserve the position, the authority, because you can’t handle it.

I wish I didn’t know you.

“Trevor, why do I have to be so weak? So desperate, helpless? Of course, everyone hates me.” I cry out against his soft skin and he caresses my back rocking my gently.