CHOICES (Completed)

PULL IN(S) AND PUSH AWAY(S)

I sniff lightly so as not to attract any attention and the tension seems thick enough to be sliced through with a knife.

“O-okay, so we have heard quite a number of different interpretations on love, being one of the strongest emotions of the human mind. And this is exactly what we will be diving into tomorrow, variety and response. Class dismissed.”

I am the first to leave as the past thirty minutes had been much too draining. I leave a confused and helpless Lily and dash all the way towards the restroom. I make sure to lock it from within and look at myself in the mirror. My eyes are bloodshot with restrained tears and face is too flushed. I open the tap and splash cold water all over my face as I shake off any leftover thoughts.

What had happened, had happened. And I had promised to never let this happen to myself again. This is not you, Tessa . This is not you.

Tessa is strong and she’s decisive and doesn’t cry her eyes out on a boy who doesn’t deserve one bit of it.

I take one final look into the mirror as I brush off my shirt. You loved someone with all your might Tessa . You should be proud of having the strength to feel all that. You need to feel the happiness of the experience, even if it didn’t last.

I unlock the door and make my way out to the cafeteria, hoping no one takes a guess at the conditions under which I’d left. I enter the cafeteria to find Lily sitting with Brit and a few others, Trevor and Hardin around another table, with Victoria Secret and her barbies huddled next to theirs.

I go over and sit beside Lily and Brit gently holds my hand.

“Tessa , you okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“It’s just that, back in the cla-“

“It was nothing, Brit. I just got a tiny wee bit emotional, is all. Where’s the caffeine?” I say out with a shrug and a casual laughter.

“So, feeling all over-emo, are we?” I hear the high pitched over enthusiastic and excessively loud voice and my mood sours instantly as I recognise the owner.

“Your input is definitely not needed on this one, Sofia.” I hear Lily answering for me, as she stands up, but I simply keep my head down, shaking my coffee cup distractedly.

“Oh I wouldn’t, considering the state is perfect for our little Miss Adventure here. Crying over lectures, head bowed down in submission with her friends to sympathize. That’s exactly what you deserve.”

“What she deserves will be evident in the days to come. You’re going to lose Sofia, and you’re not going to be able to even help it.”

“In your dreams, Liliana. Look at her, you think she can beat me? She barely has energy enough to even submit her name.” I still sit, completely unaffected, silently drumming my fingers against my cup. It’s not worth it. I don’t have it in me to fight back today. And from the looks of it, Lily is doing pretty well on her own. So why give Victoria Secret the satisfaction?

“Yes, she will. And I’m going to be sure to carry a camera that day so that I can show you your fucking pathetic balloon of a face, when she does. Oh, and almost forgot, just so you know, the name’s already submitted.” My chain of thoughts pause. My name is sub-

“You are done Sofia.We can barely bear your existence okay, how did you even manage to imagine that we would bear you as the fucking chairperson?” Snickering breaks away all around, with some taunting laughs and this is somewhere I have to intervene.