CHOICES (Completed)

CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA

I ring the doorbell and transfer my weight to the right leg.

Lily opens up soon after and she looks at my dishevelled state with blinking confusion. I take her in for a hug and she pats my back gently. I exhale heavily and close my eyes. I feel unbearably tired.

She sits me down, and passes a glass of water with a chocolate bar. I rub my fingers on my temple with a sigh and Lily waits patiently, letting me finish.

“What happened?” I look up to find a concerned pair of eyes. This is going to be a long night.

I narrate everything to her and she sits, listening, all the whole holding my hand softly.

“So that’s pretty much it.”

“I suggest you get some sleep.” She gets up and makes her way towards the kitchen when I speak up to have her halt in her tracks.

“Are you still mad at me?” She turns with a small, defeated smile and nothing aches me more than to see that right now. Fight me, Lil, but not- this.

“You know I can’t, right?”

“Tomorrow at school- I’m going to say no, Lil.” I notice her sighing, but she doesn’t get angry or frustrated.

“I know, Tessa . At the end of the day, it is your decision after all. I wanted something for my best friend and she didn’t want it for herself so, I don’t think there’s much I can do. I’m sorry for submitting your name before asking- I just thought I knew you better.”

She walks back up to the kitchen and I just watch her bring me a bowl of water with a clean cloth, and then her retreating back towards her room.

I look down at my hands, barely holding back the lump in my throat.

“Oh and Tessa -“ I raise my head and see a standing Lily, holding the door to her room.

“-you haven’t changed nearly as much you think that you have. Today proved it. And I’m really glad about that.”

She closes her door gently and I feel a lone tear escape. I would’ve taken her yelling over this, any time. But not, when she calls me Tessa. I feel an inexplicable tug at my conscience and I feel absolutely terrible.

I grab the keys to the apartment and walk out the door.

And I will be there. Always, Tessa . Even tomorrow.

No go on. Tell me that you don’t like the way I’m breathing.

Dear, dear. I was so looking forward to seeing you as the chairperson. It is of course your decision, though I can’t deny I am disappointed.

Da-n, let m-e go.

Well I guess that could be the first in a line of things you might change as chairperson.

Tessa , stay out of it.

That was stupid, Tessa . What were you even thinking? But then right, when do you ever?

You haven’t changed nearly as much you think that you have. Today proved it. And I’m really glad about that.

 

I let out an exhausted sigh and bring my hands from my pockets to rub my face tiredly. I look around to find myself walking along an unknown road along the river Mersey. I must have been walking since long.