Be My Teacher || K.SJ

F I F T Y

"I love you."

I freeze. I feel my whole body stop. My heart jumps and my stomach drops into the pit of my stomach. Did he really just say those 3 words? To me? First?

His eyes are locked onto mine, and I can see them begging for me to say something. I muster up every ounce of courage I have and swallow the lump in my throat loudly.

"You what?" I choke.

My hands are sweating and my heart is still pumping at a rapid pace. I keep saying over and over again in my head what I just heard, unable to believe this is reality.

"I said I love you." He says more clearly.

And as if a train rolled over me, it hits me all at once. My eyes begin to water, and a painful lump forms in my throat, my sinuses starting to sting.

I let out a sob, and he looks at me with concern. 

"Shit- I'm sorry. I didn't mea-" He begins, but I interrupt him.

"No. This is a happy cry." I chuckle through cries.

"I never for once imagined these feelings would develop. And, although I hate to admit it, I've been afraid to say it to you..." He admits. 

I furrow my brows, confused.

"Why have you been scared?" I sniff.

"Because I didn't want this to become real." He says, pursing his lips.

"Jin," I begin, letting out a sigh. My eyes erratically looking back and forth into both of his.

"I have been waiting to say this." I hold his hands. I take a deep breath, and let out it out through my nose, my eyes closed for a second.

"I love you too." I smile through tears.

I've been wanting to say it to him so badly, but everything was holding me back. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. 

He lets out a breathy chuckle and drops his head in relief.

"I don't know if this is the best idea. But I want you, and only you." He says, lifting his head and his eyes meeting mine once again.

I stare back at him in anticipation. Waiting for him to ask me what I'm hoping he'll ask me.

"Willow, I'm not good at these things. But, I'm asking if you will be mine. For us to be committed to one another. Monogamous." He flinches at the last word. 

"I have difficulties with commitment. I struggle to be the person the other wants me to be. I'm not like other men, I don't know how to behave in a relationship. It's just so alien to me, the whole concept of it." He admits reluctantly. "I'm always faithful, though. Don't take that the wrong way." He quickly adds.

Despite his commitment issues, he's taking a risk for me.

I can't hide my joy. I smile widely, grinning from ear to ear. I throw myself into him and wrap my arms around his broad shoulders, burying my face in his chest.

"Of course I will." I mumble into his shirt.

"And I know you have issues with being in a relationship. It's okay, we can work it out together. Slowly." I smile, reassuring him. "And I know you're faithful. I've never worried about that." I add.

He nods his head with a small smile, and plants a kiss atop my head, enveloping me in his embrace. We stay like this for a few seconds- but it feels like hours. Hours of pure bliss and happiness.