Be My Teacher || K.SJ

T W E L V E

Two weeks have passed, and as scheduled, Mr. Kim and I maintained our private tutoring lessons every weekday. It's been the highlight of my day everyday, and I definitely feel we've grown closer. 

There have been times I've caught him looking at me, and I'm unsure if it's wishful thinking, but I swear there's something behind it.

I can admit that I've been teasing him quite a bit over the last couple weeks. Every opportunity I can find, I'll take advantage of that. Despite having social anxiety, when it's just him and I, I feel empowered. I feel mentally strong and sexy.

A slight brush against his thigh with my hand, popping my chest out, playing with my hair, and insinuating sexual innuendos in our tutoring sessions innocently... I can see it riles him up, and I love watching his reaction.

I grab some supplies from my locker for the last class of the day, excited to finish so I can spend some more time with him.

As if on queue, I feel the vibration of my phone in my jacket pocket. I clumisly pull it out, seeing it's an unread text from Mr. Kim.

I excitedly open it, but my face soon drops in despair as I read the words on the screen. 

Mr. Kim: I apologize, but I must cancel our meeting this evening for personal reasons. We will resume Monday.

My stomach drops at the text, my brows furrowing as I reread it. 

I had been looking forward to it all day, just like I do everyday.

I probably shouldn't, but I write out a response.

Willow: Why?

I stare at my phone, and my heart skips a beat when I see the three little dots pop up, indicating he's writing his reply.

Mr. Kim: Miss. Collins, do you not understand what 'personal reasons' are? I know you like to pry in other peoples lives, but I must ask you respect my wishes. As I said, we will resume as normal Monday evening.

Is he for real? I scoff at his text, feeling anger building in the pit of my stomach. 

I know he doesn't mix his words, but there was no need for that. I can't help but feel pissed off.

"Hey, Willow." I hear Hoseok's voice behind me. I turn around to face him, giving him a forced smile, tucking my phone back in my jacket pocket.

"Hi." I respond.

"I'm glad I caught you, I've been trying to find you all day. Where you been hiding?" He chuckles, moving to stand beside me.

"Nowhere." I giggle.

"What do you need?" I add.

"I'm having a party tonight. My parents are out of the country for a week, so I thought I'd seize the opportunity." He smirks. 

"A party?" I raise an eyebrow, looking at him suspiciously.

"Yeah, a house party. It won't be too wild. I can sense that's not really your thing." He says.

I tilt my head, and look him up and down, crossing my arms over my chest.

"What makes you think that?" I ask, my tone low. 

He raises both brows in surprise, but a smirk creeps its way onto his lips. 

"You're not exactly miss sociable 2019 now, are you?" He chuckles, his voice deep.

I lean in closer to him, inhaling deeply through my nose.

"It's always the quiet ones you should look out for." I whisper in his ear. 

I pull back and lock eyes with him. I can see the shock written all over his face.

"I'll be there. Just text me the address." I say, before closing my locker shut with a bang, and walking away. I can feel his eyes on me from behind, and I giggle to myself.

**

I'm almost through getting myself ready for the party, and I'm already regretting it. What was I thinking? I don't know where that confidence came from.

Was I just processing my anger at Mr. Kim, thus turning it into confidence? Either way, I should have kept my mouth shut. 

I've been to two parties in my life, both of which I felt extremely uncomfortable and out of place. I have social anxiety, for God's sake. I don't do well in large crowds of people. 

As much as my anxiety is trying to stop me, I'm pushing my boundaries and I'm still going to go. And I'm going to make an effort, too.

I decided to wear a gold, sequin encrusted halterneck with high waisted ripped jeans, along with a pair of strappy heels. These are the only items in my wardrobe that are acceptable for a party, anyway.

I also decided to style my hair into long, loose curls that drape elegantly over my shoulders and down my back, and I put effort into my makeup. 

I look into the mirror, and I like what I see staring back at me. I never put time or effort into my appearance, so when I do, I actually feel somewhat attractive. 

I'm still currently a bag of nerves, and the fear of walking into a house party alone is almost crippling. I'm worried I'm going to be too overdressed, or under dressed, that I'll be wearing too much makeup, and people are going to stare at me.

Basically every negative thought is running through my brain right now, and I haven't even left the house yet.

It's now or never though, right?

I take in a deep breath, and exhale slowly through my mouth, trying to stabilise my nerves.

I walk out of my room and down the stairs, into the living room.

"Okay. I'm ready." I say, my voice slightly shaky.

My dad turns his head, and his eyes light up. A wide smile appears on his face as he stands up, eyeing me head to toe.

"You look absolutely beautiful." He says.

"Thank you, dad." I giggle bashfully.

"Let me just get my keys, and we'll go." He says, the proud smile still evident on his face. He rushes to the kitchen and grabs his car keys from the hook, and we make our way to the car.

The car journey was quiet, my stomach was flipping endlessly. I'm always like this when it comes to social events, whether it's a simple party, or when extended family comes to visit. 

There's something about having to come up with a topic for conversation with another person that gives me an uneasy feeling. I never know what to say, and I can't help but wonder what the other person is thinking about me, if they're judging me.

My dad pulls up outside a house. There are rows of cars parked up alongside the road, and I can faintly hear the bass from inside the house, even on the other side of the street. 

"Have fun, sweetheart. Make sure you're home before midnight." My dad says, placing his large hand on my head, and pulling me towards him, planting a peck on my forehead.

"I will, I promise. Thanks for the ride." I say, my fingers trembling as I go to open the car door.

I swallow hard and go for it, opening the door and stepping out. I walk as confidently as I can across the street and towards the house. The pumping music grows louder, and I can feel the vibration through the ground. 

I reach the front door, and I muster up the courage I have inside of me to open it and walk inside. I push the negative thoughts away, and try to focus on actually enjoying myself. 

I walk inside, and there are crowds of people everywhere. Talking, drinking, kissing. I see a couple walking up the stairs hand in hand, obvious where they're heading to.

This is not exactly what I was expecting. I thought Hoseok said it wasn't going to be wild? 

Well, first things first... I need a drink.