Be My Teacher || K.SJ

F O R T Y F O U R

"Hey mom..." I sit on the ground with my legs crossed, picking at the grass beneath me, as if it's deja vu. 

After the event in the coffee shop bathroom, and after Jin had to go back to working, I was left feeling lonely and disheartened. Slightly pent up and irritated, so I came to where I could vent out my problems the best without judgement.

I look up at her gravestone ahead of me, her name engraved and her epitaph I've read a million times. I sigh out of frustration, but out of relief and happiness too.

I'd missed her a lot. I'd been waiting for the day to come back here and talk to her again, and a warm swell fills my heart as I'm sat back down in my familiar seat.

"Ugh!" I groan, dropping my head in my hands and resting my elbows on my thighs. 

"I'm in a situation here, mom." I whisper. 

"There's... somebody I've been seeing. It's not exactly um... How should I put this?" I trail off, lifting my head.

"Ethical? Accepted? Right?" I say.

"But I love him... More and more every day and it's becoming hard." I say, continuing to pick at the grass out of habit.

"And nobody can find out about us because it'd ruin everything. He'd lose his job, I'd be expelled, dad would hate me." I sigh.

"And I don't think he feels the same way I do. No. I know he doesn't, he said it himself. He doesn't particularly mix his words." I chuckle.

"But I like that about him. What you see is what you get, and he's open with me. It's a good thing... But it also kinda hurts at the same time."

I continue to ramble, pouring my thoughts and heart out to the slab of stone. I know it falls on deaf ears, I'm not delusional. But it gives me a sense of hope and comfort that I can have someone to freely spill my problems to. 

After about an hour, multiple tears fell, and a few laughs, I stand up from the spot of grass and dust my knees and butt, smiling.

It's just beginning to get dark. The sun is setting, and the sky is a mixture of orange, purple and pink. It's beautiful, and I cherish these moments that I can spend with my mom. 

I let my hand rest on the top of the stone, lingering there for a few seconds before I let it fall, and I begin to make my way back to the hell house. 

I'm starving anyway. 

I make it back in about ten minutes, and I walk through the door, taking my shoes off and closing the door behind me. The wind started to pick up as I was walking back, and the door accidentally slams loudly. I flinch, and hear the sound of quick, high heeled footsteps approaching.

"What the-" Helen stands in the hallway, her brows furrowed and glaring at me. She crosses her arms and pokes her tongue in her cheek, her eyes burning into me evilly.

"What time do you call this? Where were you all day?" She asks, her voice loud and patronizing. 

"I was out." I respond coldly, walking past her.

"Where is out?" She responds, catching up to me as I walk into the living room.

I flop down onto the couch and let out an irritated sigh. She's like a buzzing little fly that won't fucking leave you alone. I can feel my blood boiling, my patience running out, and my temper failing.

"It's none of your business. I'm an adult." I say, my eyes glued to my phone screen as I scroll through it. 

"It is my business when you're sleeping in my house." She spits.