For The Love Of Trey Songz

Chapter 32.

Farah's POV :
Finally, I arrived back at my moms. She drove me back to the writing place, to pick up my car, after pounding me with a million questions.

I slumped over to my closet, sliding on a tank top, and some shorts. I recalled the conversation with my mom in the car, and her repeating words.

"Something inside of you has changed. You were once so warm inside, now so cold."

The words stung a little, because she was right. I was always happy, never sad, or seen the slightest bit. But now I was, more than ever. I was hurt. I stumbled over to the window in my room, realizing my old diary was in front of me, along with a pencil. I picked it up, and sat by the window, opening the first page.

I was seven, seven when I first wrote in the diary. I flipped through pages, recalling old memories, that I wished I could feel for a second time. Then flipped to an empty page, deciding to write once again.

Dear diary,
Long time no talk, huh? I used to talk to you awhile back.. I am hurt diary, more hurt than I have ever been. I have fell in love, deep love that I cannot come out of. I am lost, confused, even depressed? I love a man by the name of Trey Songz, who I cannot love, well shouldn't love. I am made of love, he is not. We are not compatible, and that is what is killing the both of us. I need him, I want him to need me. I miss Jessica, and Aaron, God even Eric diary. What the hell is wrong with me? I miss my older brother, I miss the thought of having a good relationship with my sister, I miss the old me. Where did I go? I can't seem to find myself. What has happened to me? I lost my virginity, my heart, my life. Yes, I am famous, my life has changed, but there is something so deep behind that, that I cannot even explain! I have this deep sorrow, and anger built inside of me, and I cannot let go. I hope I can be better soon, I really do...
Love, Farah.

I set down the pencil and re read my entry. Tears escaped my eyes as I closed the notebook silently, and held it to my chest. I could no longer bear it, I rushed over to my dresser, dialing Trey's cell. After a couple rings, he answered, surprisingly.

"You do know it is eleven at night." He spoke into the phone with a raspy voice.

"I just want to be with you right now." I sobbed into the phone.

"What happened?" His voice spoke up suddenly.

"I don't know, I don't know!" I cried, using one hand to wipe tears away.

"I'm coming now." He confirmed over the phone.

"Everyone here is asleep." I told him.

"I'm coming, what's the address?" He asked fast.

"Trey.." I tried to persuade him to change his mind.

Gosh why do I fuck everything up?

"Please baby, tell me please." He begged me.

"440 West Brook Lane, Atlanta Georgia."
"Be ready when I call, would you rather come to my place or me stay with you?" He asked diligently.

"Stay."

"I'll see you soon." And with that the line hung up, and I was left, alone once again.

This was the part about Trey I adored. I wanted it to be sweet all the time, he was just difficult, but I knew again, I couldn't trust this guy, I cannot love this guy. I regretted calling him.

My phone buzzed about twenty minutes later, and I knew Trey was outside. I saw car lights shine through my window, and rushed quietly down the stairs to open the door. He appeared in front of me fast when I reached the door.

"Thank you-"

"Hush." He whispered, closing the door quietly behind him.

He reached for my hand, which I took, leading me up the stairs, into my room, and to the bed.
He reached for my sheets, pulling them down and giving me a look to lay down in bed. I stepped in, covering myself up. Next he made his way to the door, closing it fully and silently. He clicked the lights off, then I heard his footsteps walk back to my bed. He climbed in on the other side, shining his flash light up towards the ceiling so we had a way of seeing each other.

"It's easier for me to talk with them off." He assured me.

"I want to know why you are the way you are." I told him.

"It's just the way I am." He replied uneasy.

"No, I grew up with a sense of love. I had love in my heart. You didn't, you didn't do relationships, don't.. There is a reason why I want to know so badly Trey. I need to understand why you are like this." I begged.

He turned his body, facing my eyes.

"I was beaten my whole life I until I ran away from home." He announced.

"Beaten?" I gulped.

"By both of my parents. From knives to irons you name it. I ran away at age nine, that's all you need to know." He quickly ended the subject.

My Trey, beaten all of his life? What was more worse?

"Your marks.."

"Under my tattoos." He answered dryly.

"I'm so sorry Trey." I said quietly.

"I am too." He breathes heavily into the air.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I frowned at him.

"You didn't need to know. Next conversation please." He switched subjects around again.

"Thank you for coming." I smiled.

"How could I not? You seemed highly upset." He scooted in closer.

"Can I ask you something?" My breath shaked.

"Ask." He encouraged me.

"Do you still have love for me?"

Next chapter coming soon!