For The Love Of Trey Songz

Chapter 46

Trey's POV |

I hope to myself God can forgive me for everyone I've hurt. The worst thing is, it isn't just Farah who I have broken this way.

The girls in college, one after one they died out. After me, I saw the pain covered in between their eyes. They were dying, not physically, but emotionally.

They became so attached, and I had no idea it would be an emotional thing for them. Maybe because for me it wasn't. They had all thrown themselves at me, well most. But all were attached, in some sort of emotion.

I didn't want Farah like them. I needed to make her happy again. I've lost myself, trying to kill myself. Without Farah, it was like I didn't have a life.

When I met her she brought joy. She had a sparkle in her eye, she was just so happy. She valued her time to me, wanted to help me in any way possible. Now I can see her pain. I see the way I've changed her. She doesn't smile the same, or laugh the same.. Because of me.

I thought, many times, letting her go she would find herself. However, I now know her heart is buried within me. I love her for the way she rides.. Not even in a sexual way.

All the endless shit I've put her through, she somehow finds the will to stay. She put herself through hell for me, she never left. At least never truly wanted to.

I somehow wish I could rewind life, and do everything differently to see her happy again.

I needed to make her happy, the way she once was.

I left Farah sleeping in the couch. I began to feel bad sitting on my bed, so I walked back into the living room, examining her small body lying peacefully under the covers. I slipped close to her, bending down to kiss her smooth forehead.

Her eyes opened, followed by a small smile.

"Are you still tired?" I asked her.

"Kind of." She laughed quietly.

"What should we do today?" I raised an eye.

"Watch movies. It's raining right now anyways." She looked out of the window. "I would love lying against you now and watching a romantic movie." She hummed to herself.

I smiled, watching her smile. She was still so innocent. Everything we've done and she still appears as a baby to me.

"What movie baby?" I kissed her nose.

"I want to see The Fault In Our Stars." She blinked.

I walked over to the table in the middle of the room, grabbing the remote. I huddled back over to her, making my way into the couch.

"Lay with me." I tapped my chest.

She quickly obeyed my orders, shuffling herself over me.

"Your body is always so warm." She giggled.

"Is that right?" I gazed towards the TV, flipping it on.

"Oh yes."

I went to On Demand, searching through the romantic movies. I finally spotted the Fault In Our Stars, pressing the rent button. Seven dollars spent.

"Thank you." She said politely.

"You're welcome." I pinched her nose.

We began watching the movie, after every cute part Farah would sigh, saying "If only" or "I wish that was us". It got annoying at times only because we have had good times.

I watched her reach for the remote, pausing the movie after the scene where the girl was texting the boy flirting.

"Why don't you do relationships again?" She asked me.

"I told you about what my parents did to me." I answered sternly.

"I still don't understand how that had to do with relationships." She shook her head.

"I thought they were pointless." I shrugged.

"But why?" She badgered me.

"Farah, in time you will see everything in the world is temporary. Relationships, friendships..Absolutely everything."

"No. Not true. You don't believe." She grabbed onto my arm.

"Yeah yeah." I sighed.

"I can show you what love is like!" She smiled.

"You already have." I laughed to myself. "I am thankful." I winked at her.

I hate to end the chapter off like this.... I get mad reading my own writing because it's like why can't they just go back to how they were?

IM TRYING TO MAKE A POINT.

Has anyone ever had feelings for a person where it's like I hate you but I love you???

I know I have.

Like the feeling where you care for a person but you want to give up so bad because they don't treat you the way you know you should be treated! It is the worst feeling!

Sorry for ranting, that's just how this book is the point of how people underestimate ones love and when they break it they don't understand it is truly broken!

Xoxo. Read my other book  Pain and Pleasure : The Beginning too. I'm deleting Secrets of Rosaline I need to stop deleting books but I swear I will not delete this one. I'm writing a poem book hopefully I will keep it.