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A story about a girl that finally finds the will to live after years of being tormented by her ruthless past, just to have it reach to her once more, coming back with the same intensity of cruelty and terror and once again erasing her just bui...
° ° ° . . . Even though I'm better off by myself, loneliness hits me from time to time. . .
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CHAPTER 40 —————
The school looked as busy as ever. Standing and silently watching over it from afar made me even miss it. The stress of walking in and out of it every day couldn't be matched with the amount of stress I felt just standing behind the fat oak tree with barely any leaves on it, and staring at the entrance nervously to not be caught. Dropping out wasn't even a bit of my concern when I had so many more dangerous things in the back of my head.
I buried my hands deep in the pockets of my black thick oversized hoodie and sighed behind the black mask covering my mouth and nose, rolling my eyes at every person passing through the entrance until those I wanted to see showed up.
My heart clenched in my chest at the sight of them. I've never seen them look so tired and lifeless. Was it my disappearance that brought them to this stage? What was even happening at home? I was itching to know every single thing about every single one of my family. Yet there I was - standing a hundred feet further and just watching over them like a maniac. Unable to go and comfort them in any way.
I cursed. The second I caught Jina almost collapse in Haechan's hands I was more then ready to rush in there until the picture of the snipers in my head stopped me from moving and I just gulped. My heart broke into tiny pieces inside my chest like glass piercing through my flesh to burst out in pain and sadness.
I couldn't bare to watch the state they were in. Jina couldn't even walk without Haechan and Chenle's help, Jisung, Jeno and Renjun were just staring at the ground ahead of them, walking in silence, and Jaemin - with his unreadable burdened expression, not paying attention to anything around him. They seemed broken, not even talking as they slowly walked towards the exit of the front yard. Taeil's jeep waiting for them at the gate. If I could only see his face too.
I wanted to run ahead and just hug them all tightly. I wanted to just tell her that she's not to blame for anything, because I just knew Jina had taken the whole blame for my sudden disappearance on herself. And I wanted to tightly wrap my arms around Jaemin and receive a deep and meaningful kiss from him like there's no tomorrow. But I couldn't do that. Approaching them meant danger for them and I would rather deadly ache than to kill them.
I closed my eyes as they all got in the jeep one by one supporting each other in silence and the car drove away just like every other day.
I took a deep breath, slowly drowning my painful thoughts and feelings into nothingness before I exhaled a shaky sigh and reopening my eyes.
In the corner of my eyes the black jeep was still there slowly disappearing in the distance. I wondered if I was causing them too much trouble, were they still searching for me? How were the others doing? How was Mark doing? We couldn't make things up between us before I left the mansion. I wanted to know everything instead of coming here, hiding and watching them from afar like a stalker. But I just wanted to make sure they were alive, that was all.
