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A story about a girl that finally finds the will to live after years of being tormented by her ruthless past, just to have it reach to her once more, coming back with the same intensity of cruelty and terror and once again erasing her just bui...
° ° ° . . . You're my pretty little vixen and I'm that voice inside your head that keeps telling you to listen to all the bad things I say. . .
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CHAPTER 65 —————
"Remember this place?"
I nodded. How could I forget. That was our only date. And right now the setting was almost the same. It was just our thing- a plastic bag of beer cans and some crisps. Both leaning on the side of the car and observing the passing river hidden under the bridge where no one ever dared to go.
I remembered planning to expose him that time and the end of the night didn't end up in the most adorable way. But he didn't have serious feelings for me back then. Now I knew he was in love with me and I was still planning on ruining him. I hated myself. I hated what I was about to do so much that I felt the urge to throw up. I felt my organs twisting. It hurt me- the thought of hurting him.
I looked at him, catching him staring at me. In the cutest way possible, he turned and looked away the second he realized he was staring for too long. I chuckled lowly and brought the beer can to my lips for a long bitter sip.
"You've changed, love... a lot." I looked back at him again, a small smile still standing on my face after the chuckle. For some reason I was excessively happy to be in his company. Even knowing what I was here to do couldn't bring my smile down. I've missed him. A whole lot. That was something I realized just now- after finally seeing him, after that one long ass hug and staring at the eyes that managed to bring me back to life. The one that awakened my feelings after years of blocking them.
My smile slowly faded. He didn't seem happy. He didn't seem to mean what he said in a positive way. "How so?"
He shrugged. "I don't know... It feels like I'm with a completely different Soji. Suddenly I feel like I don't know anything about you again." He looked away from me, a shade of disappointment crossing his face. "Though, I never got to hear your side of the story from you."
Now I looked away too, my eyes focusing on how dirty my white shoes were even with only the lights of the car enlightening the place. "I'm sorry..." I found myself apologizing again. I felt like no matter how many times I apologized, it would never be enough when it came to him. He gave everything to me, I knew everything about him. But I never satisfied his hunger for answers when it came to me, my past. My life was too big of a mess to be explained.
"You know, I wish I could go back to our date again." I looked his way, locking our gazes together. "I'd change a lot of things from there on." I paused. "I'd react differently, I'd talk about different things, I'd listen to you instead of judging you. I'd tell you about my past. I'd tell Taeyong about the letters... I'd stay..."
"You can still come back and stay, love..." He gave me a small smile, making me avoid his eyes yet again as I bit my lip in nervousness. I had no idea what to say when he brought that topic up. I couldn't go back... at this point— "Or... do you even want to come back..?" He spoke my thoughts out loud.
