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A story about a girl that finally finds the will to live after years of being tormented by her ruthless past, just to have it reach to her once more, coming back with the same intensity of cruelty and terror and once again erasing her just bui...
° ° ° . . . Even if we don't talk our unstable hearts shake us. . .
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CHAPTER 32 -----
I stood by the balcony door. My eyes were observing the drops of water having a race down the window glass. The sound of pouring rain dripping into the gutters of the house was clear in my ears as I watched the gloomy weather outside. Thick heavy clouds were threatening to squeeze the Earth's surface, getting darker and darker as the day went by.
By the time when someone finally decided to check on me my room was once again dark with no ray of light except for those from the backyard outside. I didn't bother to turn on even the bedside lamp. I was too consumed by my own thoughts only laying on top of my bed and staring outside, I hadn't changed my clothes after I came back from school or eaten anything either, I completely forgot.
The last letter I got in the morning was still lingering on my mind, bringing along flashbacks of my life five years ago. I hoped that with getting it off of my chest and telling Jina, I would feel at least a little bit at ease. But luck was never on my side, was it?
I planned on talking to her, but after the classes she was already long gone with her fluffy-haired boyfriend. Another chance to tell her about the letters went to waste. Waiting for another one brought me nothing but pain in the head and fights against my own mind that was stubbornly remembering the sufferings of my past and at the same time trying to block it all to keep me sane.
The Vipers... Their leader... him...
Oh, Soji my love, you know how much I adore you. I wouldn't dare to hurt you...
Let me show you the real taste of pleasure, kitten...
I shivered. For a moment I felt fingertips gripping my forearms, a soft yet painful touch running down my arms and hot release of breath on my neck. It was more than enough to take the air out of my lungs. Cold sweat covered my palms immediately, I was almost freaking out and it wasn't even the first time.
His voice in the back of my head was torturing me once again. I hoped I didn't remember it so vividly. The way he called my name so calmly, yet so creepily. The nickname that always left his throat so lowly, slipping from his tongue in a husky voice that never failed to terrify me until my whole body is shivering.
The panic attacks came along with it just like every previous time. I pulled myself up to the nightstand table switching the lamp on and pulling the drawer harshly opened while trying to take a hold of my breaths. But there were no painkillers, no diazepam, nothing left of the tranquilizers and antidepressants I used to take.
Breathe Soji! Breathe... in and out...
I was safe, I knew that. I was in my room in Taeyong's mansion. No one could hurt me here beside so many people. Those thoughts kept me from losing control over myself. I managed to calm myself down after turning the lights on and opening the balcony door for fresh air. No matter the coldness outside and the heavy rain, I still stayed out for a while. A cigarette would do me such a favour at the moment, but I almost never bought cigarettes for myself.
