Safe with me

Part Five

TW- panic attack

'What do you want to do next?' 'Hmm I not sure.' She replied playing with her fingers. 'How about I get you a drink? You must be thirsty.' Nat nodded but then hide further into my chest. 'No I spill again.' I carried her to the kitchen and sat them on the counter but she still clung to me. 'Look at me pretty girl. You don't need to get embarrassed okay accidents happen.' She still didn't budge 'But if I not a stupid baby I w'unt drop it.' She sobbed into my chest. 'Hey Nat look at me. Look at me.' I lifted her chin and wiped her tears with my hoodie sleeve. 'You are not stupid okay? You are an adorable amazing person and I love you. And I want to see you smile. Can you smile for me cutie?' She shook her head. 'I  don't want to be cute I want to be big like you.' What does she mean 'big like me'? Why is cute a bad thing? I got a glass out of the cupboard and Nat whimpered. 'Calm down it's ok this is for me.' I took a bottle of water out of the fridge. 'What drink would you like?' 'Oran juice! P'ease' I emptied the water into my glass rinsed the bottle then poured orange juice in it. 'See now you can't break it.' 'Juice!' Nat did grabby hands so I passed her the water bottle. 'Thanks 'ou.' We stayed in the kitchen with Wanda till Nat finished the juice. 'How about we watch a movie?' Wanda suggested, Nat nodded excitedly and jumped off the counter falling on the floor. 'Nat! You okay bub?' I saw the tears falling so I lifted them off the floor and gave her a hug but after a few seconds she pulled away and I could tell something was wrong. 'Hey what's wrong?' Her eyes turned from sadness to anger.

Nat POV 

'I don't want to be a little anymore! I HATE IT! I'm tired of being weak. And you're not helping! You're making everything worse JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!' Why did I say that?! I wasn't supposed to tell anyone I ran off with tears in my eyes. I curled up in a ball and cried. I felt ashamed and scared and guilty. But I've been shot before and didn't even cry one tear I take the most tiniest fall and burst into tears I hate my stupid little side.

Y/n POV

Me and Wanda look at each other in shock. 'What's a little?' Wanda asked 'I don't know I think I've heard of it. Jarvis what was Nat talking about?' 'Miss Romanoff is a little, littles are people who have a mindset of someone who is younger also referred to as little space, they enjoy things like toys and colouring. They switch from being big to the headspace of a child depending on their little age. I reckon Miss Romanoff's headspace is around that of a toddler if not younger.' Me and Wanda just looked at each other. 'How is Nat Jarvis?' Wanda asked twirling her ring around her finger. 'She seems to be crying.' 'I'll go talk to her.' Wanda gave me a comforting look and I walked off to go find Nat. 

'Nat?' I knock twice. I hear sniffling coming from the other side of the door. 'Leave me alone.' 'Nat I know you're frustrated it's okay sometimes we get too many big feelings and it just explodes but we want to help.' I leaned against the door in desperation. 'GO AWAY! I'M NOT A STUPID LITTLE SO STOP TREATING ME LIKE ONE! I can look after myself just go!' I heard them cry harder. 'I didn't even get a chance to change the sheets will you at least want to go in my room for a bit while I sort it out?' She hesitated but finally agreed I got her sheets from the dryer and knocked on the door again. 'Can I come in.' 'Mhm.' I opened the door and saw Nat curled up on the bed. 'Huh I swear Nat should be in here but I don't see her anywhere. Nat you in here?' 'I'm right here.' I shrugged 'that's odd Jarvis told me she was here...' I threw the sheet on the bed so it covered Nat at the rest of her bed. 

'Hey what's that lump on nat's bed?' I gently poked 'the lump' and heard Nat squeal. 'It's me!' I smiled she sounded a lot happier now. 'Natasha? what are you doing hiding under there I've been looking for you for ages!' I tickle her and she giggles. I wrap her in the sheets so it looks like a swaddle and look down at her. 'Hey pretty girl!' I held her close but I could feel her struggling. 'Nat what's wrong baby?' 'No baby! I have to be big.' 'You don't have to be anything. You can be big or little whenever you need  to be.' 'what do you want?' 'You to hurry up and change the sheets so we can cuddle.' Even though she seemed big, I couldn't help but smile at the adorableness. 'You want to go sit in my room while I do this? I see her nod and walk out the room.