Safe with me

Part 15

A week later.
I went to see Nat again yesterday, she still isn't showing any signs of waking up. Wanda's made a running joke of cutting my food up for me. I still spend my time locked in my room, everywhere reminds me of Nat. The kitchen, where I made her 'tella toast' all the time. The living room where we watched movies, the table where she'd sit and draw. It was too painful even my bed still smelled like her but at least I could pretend she was there when I closed my eyes or that she was sleeping peacefully in her own bed not in some stupid hospital.

I decided to go see her again today, I don't know why. I knew she wouldn't be awake yet but I just felt the need to. I went searching through my wardrobe to find a spare hoodie and Nat's 'special invisible hoodie' was gone. 'Who took nats hoodie out of my room?!' I shouted, everyone turned to me with sorry looks on their faces, it made me feel sick I didn't need their pity. 'Y/n calm down. It's probably in your room.' Wanda spoke softly. 'Don't tell me to calm down! I've looked everywhere and it's gone! Who took it?!' Tony stepped forward. 'Kid well help you find it don't worry.' I hated how everyone was patronising me and speaking to me like I was stupid. 'SHUT UP! Where is nats hoodie? Obviously someone here knows.' Steve put his head down. 'Steve?' He sighed. 'In the dryer.' He looked at Tony and shook his head. I ran to the laundry room and found nats hoodie where Steve said it was it was the only thing in there. 'Please... please no!' I took it out and smelled it, it smelled like laundry detergent. 'No!' I sobbed clutching it to my chest before sliding down the wall.

'Y/n I'm sorry I didn't know it meant that much to you.' Tony spoke softly but I was too upset to reply. 'Now what is she gonna wear? That was her comfort hoodie, she liked it because it smelled like me and her!' Wanda walked in and took the hoodie off me. 'Y/n maybe seeing Nat will help cheer you up.' I shrugged. 'I'm not in the mood anymore.' I stood up and walked past her heading for Loki's cell. 'I warned you to stay away from Nat. You promised me! I defended you for years you couldn't even manage one simple task. Why would you do that to her- TO ME?' He didn't even acknowledge me. 'ANSWER ME!' I pressed the button the cell door slid open. I walked over to Loki and slapped him across the face. 'Fight back.' I struck him again but he refused. 'Fight back!' I punched him in the stomach. My hits got heavier and faster but he still didn't respond to my outburst. When my knuckles had gone from sore to numb that's when he caught my hand,  swiped his thumb across my knuckles and the back of my hand before pushing it to my chest. 'You're hurting yourself, I am not worth this pain.' I collapsed into his arms, he hesitated before hugging me back. 'You should go.' His eyes moved away from my direction. 'Bye Loki.' I wanted to hate him, I really did but I knew the Loki in the cell wasn't that Loki.

I just walked up the steps and headed towards the door. 'Kid take this.' He extended his arm one of my hoodies in his grasp. 'Fuck you tony.' I pushed past him and headed for the door. 'Y/n.' I heard wandas voice and turned 'WHAT?' She flinched and took the hoodie from Tony and passed it to me. 'Please.' I sighed and threw on the hoodie before flinging the door open and slamming it shut behind me. 'Goodbye agent y/n.' Jarvis spoke softly which pissed me off more. Before I knew it I was speed walking to the hospital and into nats room. 'Baby girl please I need you.' I kissed her forehead before placing mine against hers. 'I love you so much Bub.' A tear fell onto her cheek, I wiped it away with my thumb.

'I'm so sorry.' I kissed her cheek and went to leave the room but heard a rustling behind me. 'Nat?' I turned to see her head moving against the pillow. 'Nat? That's it you can do it, come on wake up. Please wake up.' I whispered, begging. Her eyes flicked open. 'Who are?' I looked at her confused as her eyes shut again. I went to find her doctor to see if it was normal. 'She could just be delirious from all the medications or her memories are a little jumbled which is what we expected but we'll do some tests and she'll be fine. You should go get some rest though you seem exhausted and that's not helpful to her recovery.' I nodded and shook his hand before leaving the hospital.

I tried to piece together what who are? meant. who am I? No.. surely not. She can't have forgotten me. Maybe she said you are? She was probably just sleepy, I repeated trying to convince myself.

By the time I walked through the door the idea of her forgetting me got to me. Everyone saw my sad expression and instantly assumed something was really wrong and started bombarding me with questions. 'Is she okay?' 'Did something happen?' 'What did the doctor say?'

'She doesn't remember me.' The words burnt my throat and tongue like acid. 'It's probably just confusion from being in a coma for that long.' Steve tried to reassure. Bruce started listing facts and stories about coma patients he's researched. 'I know you're trying to help but right now I-I can't. You didn't see the look she gave me, she doesn't know me anymore.'

An illusion of Loki appeared. 'You are the LAST person I want to see right now.' I say throwing the closest object at them, we'll through them, which happened to be one of Steve's shoes. 'At least it wasn't Thor's they stink.' Thor gave his brother an offended look. 'Yeah well you're adopted.'

'I'm sorry.' I grabbed another shoe. 'Well I don't forgive you, you took the only thing I had left!' This time I aimed for his head. I watched the illusion fade the disappeared into my room.