Stay (BTS x Reader-Polyamorous romance)

Chapter 19

Namjoon POV:

"Ugh finally." I set down the last box and closed the door behind me. We had spent the last six hours moving boxes from the old apartment into the new house and I was fucking exhausted, but I was happy to finally be home with my mates. Since the house only had four bedrooms, we had to make decisions on how to sleep. Y/N had offered to share with someone, but we wanted her to have her own space so Yoongi and Hoseok volunteered to share. I knew it worked for Hoseok since he didn't like to sleep alone.

After putting the box in Jin's room, who was busy putting things away, and giving him a quick kiss, I followed the scent of chocolate covered cherries into the kitchen and found Y/N putting away dishes and silverware, emptying the boxes we had delivered into the kitchen. I went up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist, burying my face in her neck, the scent even stronger there. "You smell so fucking delicious right now." Her scent filled my nose and all I wanted at the moment was to strip her naked and fuck her right there bent over the counter.

Y/N turned in my arms. "Hey honey. I'm all sweaty so I can't smell too good and it's hard for me to put things away when you're clinging to my back like a koala." Her tone was scolding but her eyes were filled with happiness and I knew deep down that she really didn't mind.

"I know, but this is my is my first night with you. Usually, I have to say goodbye and go to my own place but now I don't have to leave you. You'll be here when I go to sleep and still here when I wake up in the morning." I knew I sounded whiny, but I couldn't help it. There was something about living with your mates, being constantly surrounded by their scents that were like nothing else. It made me never want to let them go.

Running a hand through my hair, Y/N rubbed the base of one of my ears and I couldn't help but moan at the contact. The feel of her hands on me was like heaven and it was something I wanted to experience everyday of my life. "I know what you mean. I didn't like you not being with me either. Knowing you're going to be here everyday makes me so happy."

My tail wound around her waist, pulling her closer and making her giggle. "You're so good to me. So good to all of us. I don't know how anyone could..." I cut myself off, angry that I had been about to say something so stupid, so careless.

Y/N's face turned sad and I dropped my eyes to the ground, but she touched my chin, making me look at her. "It's okay honey. Don't ever feel like you can't say something in front of me. I know how they feel about me and even if I don't like it, I've accepted it. I'll be okay. I promise."

Still feeling shitty about making her sad, I pulled back and kissed her lips gently. "I'm going to go unpack my room. I love you." Y/N's mouth dropped open in surprise and my mind went blank. It was the first time I had told her that I loved her but I wasn't expecting it to go like that. Feeling embarrassed, I hurried from the room, not sure what to say. I didn't expect Y/N to follow me since she probably figured I needed my space for a moment.

I headed towards the room I had chosen, trying to think about how to fix my blurted out confession. I loved her, I really did, but I wish I had told her differently. I wanted it to be sweet and romantic, not some hurried words that sounded like they didn't mean anything.

The rest of the evening passed quickly and I was relieved to see that Y/N didn't treat me any differently. She was still sweet and affectionate, brushing a hand over my head or kissing my cheek. Maybe I hadn't fucked up after all.

After dinner and when everyone started heading towards their rooms, tired from the move and ready to unwind for the night, I asked Y/N if I could talk to her. I needed to fix this and hoped she would forgive me for saying something she might not be ready to hear. She nodded then headed towards her bedroom, gesturing for me to follow her. I followed her in and shut the door, sitting next to her on the bed. "I'm sure you're surprised and wondering what that was all about. That's not how I wanted to tell you and I'm... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to blurt it out like that. I don't even know when I fell in love with you. It feels like I always have been." I reached over and took her hands, hoping she wouldn't pull away, hoping she would understand.