Stay (BTS x Reader-Polyamorous romance)

Chapter 23

A/N: Surprise bonus update!  Hope you enjoy!

Jimin POV:

As I lay in bed asleep that night between my mates, I couldn't stop the feelings of guilt and misery that washed over me. What have I done? Have I made such a huge mistake? Something that will never be forgiven? I didn't know what to do. I could see from the sadness in Taehyung and Jungkook's eyes that they were missing Y/N, missing our human mate. I pushed the thought from my mind, trying to stop the tears that pricked the corners of my eyes. Can I even call her that anymore? Is she still my mate? As much as I wanted to reject her, push her away, I now know that I was wrong. She was different from the other humans I had met, different from almost anybody I had met.

Pulling myself out of the bed, a soft smile crossed my face as my mates snuggled close to each other, seeking the other's warmth and comfort. Padding on silent feet into the kitchen, I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and uncapped it, taking a long drink. The cool liquid soothed my suddenly dry throat and I leaned back against the counter, my mind filled with thoughts of Y/N.

I didn't want to admit it, but deep down I wanted her. I wanted her desperately. It didn't help when I saw my mates that lived with her and could smell her sweet scent clinging to their skin. I knew there was only one thing that could make her scent cling so strongly and the idea of it sent waves of jealousy crashing over me. There was no denying that she was beautiful, stunningly so and it had taken everything in me to push her away, to reject her. I knew what I was doing was wrong but I had convinced myself that it was because of Taehyung. That it was because of humans like her that my mate had been injured in the first place. However, deep down I knew she would never hurt him like that, never hurt me.

Moving into the living room, I set my water on the table then sat down on the sofa, dropping my head into my hands. I knew I fucked up. I knew the instant I saw the fear in her eyes for the first time. Seeing my mate afraid of me made my stomach clench in pain and the bile want to rise up in my throat. I had wanted nothing more than to pull her into my arms, beg for forgiveness, but instead I pushed her away from me. At the time, I though it was what I wanted, but I was wrong. So fucking wrong.

Earlier at the park, hearing Taehyung ask about her, hearing that she was sick, made me want to rush to her side and take care of her like a proper mate should be doing. But instead, here I am, sitting in the dark living room consumed by guilt while someone else loves her, holding her, reassuring her that everything is okay. I had to stop myself from losing my temper earlier when Hoseok mentioned that she was with Sehun again. I didn't know what her relationship with the doctor was, but seeing the two of them together made me sick. Who the hell did he think he was? Why was he spending so much time with my mate? Why was he with her when I should be? The questions constantly raced through my mind, but I didn't know how to make it any better.

I knew that I had to do something, but I was lost. My biggest worry was that she would reject me, not let me near her, never forgive me. I had made so many mistakes, from treating her so poorly to convincing Jungkook that she would eventually leave him. My own fears and selfishness had taken over, pushing thoughts into the mind of my otter mate until that was all he could think about. When I first met Jungkook, he was bubbly and happy, his smile always bright, his eyes always filled with a light that made my heart swell with love. Now? Now he was different. I knew he loved me, loved Taehyung, but I also could see there was something missing. His laughs weren't as loud, his smiles not as wide, and there was always sadness in his eyes. It was something I couldn't fix, something I couldn't change.

I couldn't stop the tears that dripped down my face, knowing that I was the reason my mates weren't completely happy. The guilt I was feeling for my part in this whole situation made me crazy and I knew that I had to do something, but what? An arm wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me from my thoughts and I turned to see Jungkook sitting next to me, his eyes filled with worry.