[Pianist]

XXXIII

Days passed, middle of November came.
Minnie was in her bed, the clock marking 2 am, her eyes still open and her mind still wandering on things she shouldn't think.

Flashback.
-I am...-
-You are what?-
-Happy-

End flashback.

Telling lies on lies.
She felt this feeling of being empty.
She felt like she was a liar.
She felt like something in her was slowly dying as time passed, but her heart couldn't stop beating while thinking about that stranger that was playing her piano without even knowing that it was hers.
She can't fall in love, she is going to hurt her.
A monster like her, with those useless hands can't make a woman full of happiness.
She can't fill Miyeon even with all herself, she just can't.
Monsters are scary, you need to hide from them, you need to stay away from them.

Useless.

She can't even touch her, tell her how she loves her while she caresses her cheek or while pinching her cheek.
She can't protect her from others.

She needs to stay away.
She hates her heart, why choosing somebody that she can't have?
"Stop beating" she says through her gritted teeth, while salty tears traced her cheeks, her breath heavy air falling into her chest and then leaving by her mouth.

She can't stand the idea of Miyeon not smiling anymore cause she is too stressed for helping her doing things.

She needs to stay away.
But wouldn't it be too selfish from her point of view?
Leaving someone like that, seeming like somebody who doesn't give a fuck about others feelings.
But Nicha is not like that, Nicha thinks about all the things around her.
Not giving an explanation to the leaving will hurt Miyeon even more.

That smile, those eyes and that pointy nose.
Those glances, those laughs and those hands that move against the keys in a grateful manner.
The thing that could hurt her the most is seeing her sad, she saw her sad.

Flashback

In the darkness of her eyes, she could see stars slowly turning off or falling down leading their way to her cheeks.
Her lips moving and her voice that seemed to be influenced by a sea of pieces in her throat.
The longer Minnie stared the longer she saw a fragile figure asking for help.
Nevertheless, that figure was opening to her like a book and his own chapters about life.
She was there, listening in silence and feeling the same pain.

End flashback.

The more she wants to stay away, the more she wants to stay by her side.
Minnie wanted to die.
She was too broken to fix Miyeon too.

If it wasn't for that night.
Minnie thought again, but then she thought that maybe if it wasn't for that night her and Miyeon could be strangers at the moment.

She wants to get drunk by this flower.
She wants to taste her, to love her like nobody did.
She wants to touch her without feeling pain or scared she might get disgusted.
She wants to play with her, to show her how to do some things and to share the love for the instrument.

Now all she wants to do is to scream.
To die.
Her mind was full now and she just wanted to explode.

She got up and went to her piano, Hyuna was already sleeping with Hyojong.
Her head rested on the covered keys, she wants to die.

She is afraid but she will continue to stay by Miyeon’s side.

But...What if it doesn't end well?