Be Safe (Criminal Minds/Spencer Reid x OC romantic Fanfic)

BROKEN

short but at least I'm updating

We're sat around the round table, my head is pounding, throat is dry. The team are buzzing around me, all except Rossi who is sat staring blankly at his hands. I get up and head to Garcia's office. I feel like I'm in a nightmare. Nothing feels real, except the ache in my chest.

I hear footsteps follow me but I don't turn to see who it is. Garcia is shouting at someone but she stops when see's me.

"Listen, that's not good enough, please hold." She hits a button and turns to me, a solemn look on her face.

"Today Finlay was being transferred from his prison to the court prison and the van was ambushed. They were professionals. They killed the guards and had Finlay in another vehicle in less than a minute. By the phone call time he was in and out of your house in less than an hour after that."

I open my mouth to ask 'how' but know, money can get you anything. I sit down and feel someone enter the room. I glance up to see Rossi as pale as a sheet as he takes the other free chair.

Finlay has been visited by his dad twice a week since he's been in prison and the money that his dad had donated had given him special allowances. The information we were meant to be getting about Finlay from prison was intercepted and never properly recorded. Apparently his notebooks from his cell were just full of plans of things to do to Amity. They were on their way. I zone back out. bGarcia tapped back into the phone and began shouting again. I wanted to help, to do something but I felt useless, tired. My mind was clouded with images I didn't want.

"Reid, do you want coffee?" Rossi asks, its only as I look up I realise he's stood. I nod and follow him wordlessly. He makes our drinks in silence. I take it and wander off, wanting to be alone. I only come back when I see the notebooks arrive. I whisk them away before anyone else can see they are here and begin reading.

JJ comes in an hour later and finds me crying on the floor.

"Look how angry he is," I whisper, defeated.

"You shouldn't be reading these," JJ says, gathering them up quickly. But its too late. I'd read most of them. The thought of him doing any of these things to Amity ripped me apart. He was a twisted and hateful human.

He write intricately detailed accounts of various scenarios with her. I'd seen the darkest parts of humanity, and he was certainly one of the darkest. JJ disappears and reappears with Derek who helps me up.

"We're gonna go back to yours and get your stuff, then you are going to crash at mine, do you understand?" it wasn't a request. I nod and Derek leads me through to the car. I sit in silence as we drive and he's doesn't try to engage with me. I'm glad. My head throbs. We park up and I motion for him to stay there. Damon has Atticus, apparently he himself was devastated. 

I walk into out empty house and as soon as I step in the door all I can smell is her. My chest tightens. I feel like I've been winded. I walk upstairs, keeping my eyes down, not being able to see the extensive pictures of Amity smiling with the people she loved. I curse her for her excessive need to document our happiness. But I know why, and this knowledge kills me more. 

She likes to be reminded of the happiness she's felt because she's been hurt so much, it takes her so much to get through the day. She smiles and she's lovely and everyone thrives of her sunshine because she absorbs all the hurt that's round her and inside her and exudes positive energy. 

I know of her ability to switch off her emotions and I hope she is able to do it now. I get into our room and look around. Her clothes strewn on the floor, makeup across her dressing table. Her smell is everywhere. I find myself climbing into our bed and pressing my nose into her pillow. She surrounds me, fills me. I inhale deeply again and feel tears spring to my eyes. I want her home. I want her in my arms. 

I don't know how long I lie there before I get myself together. I pack a bag and leave quickly, needing to get out of our home. Everything is her. 

===

"You have to eat, she would not want you to be like this." Garcia quips as I push away the plate she'd placed in front of me. I'm back in the office after no sleep. I am about to make an excuse when the door opens.

"Reid, you need to see this." Hotch says, the ever-present stern look on his face. I stand up and follow.

"We received this minutes ago, Morgans interviewing the kid that dropped it off but we think he's just been randomly paid to do this,  no connection."

"What is it?" I ask, panicking. Hotch doesn't answer, just pushes open the door. Sat on the table is a laptop, a post it note on the screen 'for Doctor Reid's viewing pleasure' scrawled across it. I walk over to it silently and switch it on.

It springs to life.

"Oh my god." Garcia gasps.

A tiny girl curled up into a ball on a cot bed in a small cell like room.

There she is. 

Amity.