Be Safe (Criminal Minds/Spencer Reid x OC romantic Fanfic)

WATCHING

I haven't taken my eyes off the screen for days. I've barely eaten, slept or moved. She's been alone the whole time, he's feeding her though, which I take as a good thing. He's torturing us both, Amity and I, by waiting. I don't even bother to wipe the tears from my eyes as I see her sit there, watch her as she gets up and looks around, searching for something to aid her but we both know that's not a possibility.

"He's had almost a year to plan this,  an bottomless pit of money, what can we do?" I think out loud. There's a sharp pain in the back of my head as Garcia clips me.

"Don't you talk like that, never talk like that." she chokes before storming out.

I continue watching her and immediately regret what I said. I can feel my heart ache in my chest. I reach out and touch where she is on the screen. I need her back. I need her back now. I wish I could say I was helping, the team was working around the clock and all I can do is stare.

There was no trail anywhere, it was cold everywhere we turned. Money really can get you anything, Finlay's father was nowhere to be found. I hear Garcia return and I finally turn to face her. She hasn't worn makeup for days, her hair is scraped back and there are bags under her eyes almost as heavy as mine. She looks erratic, wide eyed. She goes back to her station, which the laptop is hooked up to. She's been typing at her computer almost this entire time, she'd called all her hacker friends and yet still no one could break the system protecting their location. 

Not being able to help is breaking Garcia as much as it's breaking me. The one world she is so sure of, the one way she should be able to help her and she can't. I want to touch her, feel her, hold her. I need her safe. That's all I've ever wanted, to keep her safe, I promised to keep her safe and I failed. My heart aches more with every passing second. 

To be ripped apart from someone who makes you feel whole is beyond pain I can articulate. I just wasn't functioning as a I would, I felt empty apart from the feeling of loss. The helplessness I felt was something I was uncomfortable with. I want to rip my hair from my scalp just so my hands are doing something.

I think about re-reading his letters and diaries but that's more painful than the nothingness. Does she know I'm doing everything? Does she know how much this is hurting me? What is she thinking? 

I drag my tired eyes to Garcia, tapping away at her keyboard, my gaze goes back to the screen and suddenly the door of her hatch opens. I jump up. 

"He's here."

=x=

Finlay simply sits across from her, me and the team do not move from our places gathered around the screen. I watch Amity stare right back at him audaciously. She looks almost tired with him, bored by his presence. He breaks his gaze first and as she does she sighs and rolls her eyes. 

A pang of both pride and fear for her hits me. 

I see his face drop for a second, not knowing how to deal with this response from his kidnap victim. Then he smiles slowly, it somehow looking unnatural on his handsome face. 

"Well, aren't you looking a picture." Finlay says sweetly, his eyes running up and down her. My hands grip into fists. She wearing the same thing she's been wearing for the last few days; what she was kidnapped in: a white lace summer dress. I bet he loved that. "Did you dress up for me?"

She snorted, like what he just said was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard. His face falls again, not liking the shift of power in the conversation. He hadn't expected this after leaving her on her own for days, after kidnapping her, after kidnapping her again.  

"You've put on weight since I last saw you." he shoots at her, this makes her mask falter. She wasn't expecting that, but she pulls herself together. 

"I know." she shrugs.  I like hearing her voice. It soothes me. 

"Some might say you're fat." he says the last word slowly, spits the last syllable. She physically flinches. He's tormenting her. She once again composes herself then smiles slowly at him, head tilted. 

"You really must be at a loss for you to start insulting my weight, what are you, a mean girl?" she chuckles a little. 

But its cut off as he launches across the room, grabbing her by her throat and picking her up by it and holding her against the wall. Her face is pained as her head snaps back against the brick wall. 

I jump out of my seat.

"Don't be clever now Am, please, keep that smartass comment inside." I mutter out loud. I knew she'd studied the psychology of him, knew that she probably knew him better than he knew himself. This was an advantage, and a potential downfall for her. "Come on Am, be good."

"Its really kind of weird that you project your  mums girlfriend on to other people." she whispers to him. He grits his teeth, pulls an arm back and punches her straight in the face.