Chapter 9: What Should I Do?

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Chapter 9

What should I do?

I don't even know if I'm doing the right thing, but I just couldn't bring myself to face it.

"Jay Hyung, just tell Jungwon Hyung what he did wrong. I feel bad for him." Riki said after holding his silence for a while now.

They are now in my dorm since I refused to go out with them today, It's actually late, and both of them do not have a plan to go home yet. They even ordered and had dinner here just a while ago.

"This is not so you," Jake commented. I just look at him.

"He keeps asking me at school whether what he did wrong, he said you're still mad at him and won't even look at him. I angered you before, but you did not ignore me and lectured me instead."

"That's right! listen to him!" Jake said again, half laughing. I glared at him as I drank the can of beer in front of me.

He just doesn't help, An hour passed by, and Riki needs to go home now. There's a curfew for minors here. I decided to see them off till the entrance and to get some fresh air as well.

Jake pushed Riki softly to walk ahead of us, then he wrapped his arm on my shoulder.

"Ya! Why do you have to think so much?" he asked. I glanced at him, and He was already looking at me.

"I'm not wrong, right?" He asked again. I kept my silence, "Man up! It's all the same, mate! It just happened to be him." he added as he patted my shoulder then ran to Riki.

I hope it's easy, as he said, but it wasn't.

I've been thinking for days about what to do next, but I just can't bring myself to decide, maybe because I know so well it's not just about me but him as well.

I found myself walking in the circle, with the help of moonlights and street lights quite far from one another. There's enough light for me in the middle of this field alone. I can feel the night breeze hugging me as if it was comforting me.

"Got you!" I could tell it's Jake with his voice. He jumped on me, almost making us lose our balance. He and Riki are really alike. He's childish, while Riki is generally like that because of on going puberty.

"Why are you here now?" I asked him little irritated.

I heard him sighed and "I feel like you need someone to talk to, and I could listen." he said, then nudge me.

I just nodded and think for minutes. We stayed quiet for a while, him waiting for me to talk while me looking for the right words to say.

"Just say it.'" he said, a little frustrated, "This is not so you mate!, You usually don't think, why are you thinking so hard right now?" he added calmly.

"It's not just about me nor random things. How could I take this lightly." I replied calmly.

"So you really like him?" he said, he's grave serious right now, and I could tell that. He's maybe a jackass, but he knows where to get serious. "I could tell you do. He got you thinking like that, if not, then what it could be," he added so certain about it.

"I don't know what should I do. This is new to me, either. I just feel confuse and lost. I feel like both paths ahead of me aren't right." I told him honestly.

I never imagined myself falling in love with a man. I'm a straight man who had girlfriends before. I did not see this coming.

"Tell me what paths are ahead of you?" Jake asked then glanced at me. He went to one of the bleachers and sat comfortably there.

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