The Destiny Against Us : JayWon

Chapter 32.2: Way of Choosing Love

Chapter 32

Way of Choosing Love

I reached the dorm feel like floating. Everything inside me is in chaos as so much lurking emotions I couldn't handle won over me.

It's something my system refused to entertain at last and decided to feel numb and empty despite the thousand thoughts running on my head.

I said, 'yes.' I didn't know where I got the courage to do so when I didn't want to see her yet. I knew so well, I was not ready yet, and doing that was torture.

How could I look at the person trying to part me from the love of my life? How could I look at the girl my man is promised with when he promised all his lifetimes with me? How could I without feeling hurting myself?

She was like the reality after me. Reminds me that Jay would have it so much easier if he's just with her. She has everything I don't have, the reason she was a reminder of my place, I didn't want to admit for so long. Place where Jay is out of my league.

Maybe that was also the reason why being with him feels like a dream, a magical dream I don't want to wake up from, and makes me couldn't believe he's mine.

I was aware of the fact he was too far from my reach. Just like someone too close yet so far. But I chose to live every moment with him. I did without worrying about what could happen for tomorrow. Until I couldn't run from it anymore, just like now. I'm here with no choice but to do that, and tomorrow with uncertainties of being with me, it is driving me crazy and hurts like hell.

After all those thoughts and feelings, I still did listen to my own guts telling me to see her. I was crazy enough to do that.

Time flew fast as now. I'm just several meters away from the restaurant she was talking about.

I didn't know how long I'd been standing here outside. My heart was beating so hard, I felt like catching my own breath as it goes fast and hard. Every step I take the heavier my feet becomes that I just want to be nailed from where I am.

I thought of running away, but I didn't. I am worried, afraid, and nervous for all reasons possible and thoughts running on my head but I did not let it get me. I still chose to face this reality of mine to step forward.

I want to fight for him just like I promised. I want to fight for us just like Jay did for the both of us. He chose to be brave and us all this time. Why I couldn't?

With enough courage I gained, I  walked to its entrance. The bell door greeted me as the reservation staff guided me into a private room after checking details.

I couldn't help but breathe deeply in relief when I saw the room empty.

I sat there as I started to feel numb again with thoughts that kept hurting me. I wish I could stop myself from those, but it was beyond my control. It didn't take long when the door opened, and it revealed her.

She was indeed beautiful. She is. And no one could ever deny that. She was a tall, fair girl. She looks like a gentle girl, just like Jay would like, and his type. No wonder Jay fell for her once, and they were once together.

They definitely suit each other and be a perfect couple if he just chooses her. But I'm glad he didn't.

Just seeing her made me feel pangs in my heart, but I firmly met her gazes as she sat in front of me. I didn't greet her or anything. I just stared at her, drowning in these emotions of blues inside me.

She looks no harm. She's calm and composed, just like those riches in movies full of class and elegance.

"Let's order first." she started, but I disagreed with her.