insecurity

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"Because he saw the salad dressing," I finish another joke which results in Adam letting out a stifled laugh.

I can't help but notice that every time he laughs he covers his mouth. The laugh itself even seems held back. I never noticed it until today but thinking back he has always done this. He'd seem to forget or not bother every now and then, maybe cause he found something too funny to hold back. I love it when he laughs that real laugh of his. Hearing it makes me happy.

"Why do you do that?"

Adam's smile fades.

"Do what?"

"That thing where you cover your mouth. Why do you do it?"

Adam looks down into his lap and starts fiddling with the edge of his shirt.

"I dunno..."

He looks up and our eyes lock for a second. It only takes a second for him to look away out of what looks like embarrassment.

"You can tell me, you know? I won't judge you if it's anything... I dunno. I just- you can trust me if it's a secret of some kind?"

He nods, still staring into his lap. I'm about to give up, thinking he won't tell me when he sighs.

"When I was younger I was teased. For my smile. It's stupid, I know. I just can't help but feel insecure."

I feel my heart shatter into thousands of pieces.

"But, smiling's supposed to be, like, you don't care about the world, you're just happy," I argue.

Adam nods and stares into his lap, tearing up a little.

"Besides, I like your smile. I like hearing you laugh. I like seeing you laugh," I say, catching Adam's attention. "You're my best friend dude, and I'm not lying at all when I say I genuinely love seeing you laugh."

He looks up at me, looking slightly shocked before smiling.

"There we go. There's that gorgeous smile I know and love."

He laughs lightly. "Thanks, Jameson. I appreciate it."  

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