jadam oneshots :')

Missing Him

angst lol

Tears roll down my face as I think of him for the second night in a row.

His gorgeous face, hilarious jokes, and kind personality.

I miss him.

Adam. My best friend. That beautiful friendship ruined because I didn't want a relationship.

Of course I like him though! Of course I want that relationship.

But something stopped me when he asked.

Maybe it was my parents.

Maybe it was just me.

But God knows I wanted it.

I wanted to hold his hand and for him to hold mine back.

I wanted to rest my head on his shoulder and snuggle into him on the couch.

And I wanted him.

But something stopped me.

And now he's gone.

Not wanting to talk to me.

When he confessed I promised him nothing would ruin our friendship.

Then he said good-bye.

That he didn't wanna talk as much anymore.

Only the occasional 'hello' or 'how are you?' and 'I'm in a relationship... now...'

He's in a relationship.

He loves someone else.

It was bound to happen but... so soon...?

I guess it hurts.

It hurts to know that after years of friendship, the acknowledgement of admiration tore us apart.

That he could leave so quickly and replace me so easily...

Sometimes I wonder if he thinks of me.

Thinks of me as I think of him.

As often as I think of him.

Did I just fade away?

Or does he still care?

If I reached out, would he grab my hand and pull me into a hug?

Never let go like I know I wouldn't?

If I told him I missed him, would he say it back?

Would he want to see me?

Would he look at me with the same glimmer of hope in his eyes?

Tears roll down my cheeks as I think of him for the fifth night in a row.