let me down slowly - wilbur soot

chapter 42- goodbye

i drive aubrey back to the hotel, back to her car. the two of us get out and i walk her to her car.

aubrey grabs the handle to open her car, then pauses.

without warning, she turns around and pulls me into the tightest hug on my life.

her head rests comfortably on my chest, and her arms wrap around my waist so tightly, as if she's afraid i'll slip away if she lets go.

i know the feeling.

our bodies fit together perfectly.

we could fit together perfectly.

but we can't. and we never will.

i lean down and put my arms around her back, resting my chin on her shoulder. i let the moment consume me, allowing me to believe that this could be possible one day. i throw all my thoughts about quackity away, just for a moment.

because that's all we have. one more moment together until we go back to our hectic, stressful lives.

i move my chin off her shoulder and put it on top of aubrey's head. then, without thinking, i give her a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

soft enough so i know it happened, but aubrey couldn't feel it.

"can we do this again soon?" aubrey asks, her voice sounding like it's about to break.

"of course," i say. "anytime."

"goodbye, wilbur."

"goodbye, aubrey."

the two of us separate and aubrey gets into her car. i stand outside and wave, watching her until she drives away, her car disappearing into the distance.

and then i let out a long, painful sigh.

i can almost still feel her here, her cold skin, her pine and cinnamon scent that i will never forget. her dark eyes, her dark hair.

everything.

i turn to my car and get in, starting the car up. only this time, there's no one in the passenger seat.

she's gone.

and though she might not be gone forever, it almost feels like a piece of me is missing. and only aubrey can mend that empty space.

i feel pathetic.

we're like two broken pieces of a puzzle. they should fit together, but they don't. no matter how hard you jam them together and how desperately you want them to click into place, they don't.

stop overthinking and focus on the road.

at a red light, i scroll through my spotify, then remember that aubrey had me follow her on spotify.

maybe this'll fill the void. at least for a little bit.

i look through her playlists, and one catches my eye.

it's called "you're not mine."

is she reading my mind?

the playlist is six hours long, which is more than long enough for the drive home. i hit shuffle and a song called "she" by harry styles starts playing.

i sigh and listen to the music, attempting to put my thoughts on the road ahead of me, but continuously having them drift back to the girl i was with only moments before. 

(A/N this is so short i'm so so so sorry but it starts getting good from this point forward i promise! thank you all for having so much patience with me, i was sick for a while [ not covid though, the tests all came back negative B) ] BUT IF YOU GUYS DIDN'T NOTICE... LMDS HIT 100K [now 101k let's goooooo] but honestly thank you all so much, none of this would happen if it wasn't for you guys. you have ALL of my gratitude and thanks <3 i appreciate you guys reading my stories and supporting me. it doesn't go unnoticed and i wish i could give every single one of you an individual big hug. i love you guys endlessly! thank you so so so much!!! and if you'd like to support more, it would be really cool of you to vote, comment, share, and add this to your reading lists! :D THANK YOU AGAIN FOR 100K!!!)